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Posted on August 23, 2010 at 01:49 AM
I’m at Starbucks, yet
again infuriated by their soulful light rock jams. Last week i got fucking Mad Cow Disease from a Jack Johnson song. -and today it’s Sheryl Crow, whose new
“fun-loving feel-good” album is throwing my hormones out of balance -shrinking
my garbage and giving me hot flashes.
I suppose I could leave… I should leave...but I need the wifi. (Plus, my tea rules; Orange Blossom. Smells like the Pledge I used to spray in my mouth as a kid.)
Let's give it a minute. Some deep breathing exercises should calm me. 1...2....3... “It’s only bad music, I’ll be fine. It’s only bad music. It’s only.." FUCK! DEMON OUT!!!!
OK, I’m on the verge of a straight up panic attack now. Upper lip sweat and everything. I’m actually scanning the corners of the floor on the off chance that there may be a pregnant earwig crawling around..
so I can pick it up, shove it in my ear and say, “Go on, little guy… Tunnel right in and build a gross-ass nest on my ear drum.. Lay a million eggs so they can hatch into larvae, digest my ear canal and hopefully, HOPEFULLY eat my brain... ANYTHING but this Volvo-khaki-oatmeal-control-top-nude-panty-hose-maxi-pad-summertime funk.
It’s so… VAGUELY PLEASING, and …and.. UTTERLY DEVOID OF SEX APPEAL! GOD this shit makes me lactate. Oh great. Now I just developed Apotemnophilia. Are you happy Sheryl Crow? Oh, what’s Apotemnophilia? Nothing much, just an irreversible mental disorder wherein the victim experiences an overwhelming need to amputate his/her own limbs. Look it up. Serious. Where were we.. OH yes the TOUR OF OUR LIVES PART 1
When we got official word that we’d be touring with The Smashing Pumpkins; a band we reference in EVERY interview as a main influence on our sound; -our Chicago hometown idols turned friends who drafted THE blueprint which bands like ours have attempted to emulate for over a decade, we KNEW it would be a monumental experience. …Well, we THOUGHT we knew… we actually had NO idea.
Shit got BIBLICAL.
Here’s PART I – collection of pics, vids, anecdotes, notes, stream of conscious memories, mental refuse.
Cleveland
It’s not a tour until you've written something classy on someone while they're sleeping.
We ambushed the 92.3 FM studio and pulled off an early morning cover of LoveSong for our great friend DJ Nard. (On no sleep, Dan had 30min in our hotel room to learn and combine all 4 guitar parts.)
Got our new tour Tshirts.
Met up with our good friends in Bad City, who we were excited to have along on the tour. (Tom, filled in for Jonny on our Euro tour back in 2009, and even played the blistering Strobe Lights solo on our new album)
Our new backdrops were constructed for the first time.
Pumpkins set was insane. (Hummer was highlight) and their lighting rig included 2 gigantic rotating metal fans with shattered mirrors glued to the blades.
Fan gave me a great journal
Bands are like marriages;
it’s the ones that laugh together that stay together...
With that in mind, I’d like to THANK Fieldy from Korn for releasing his accidentally genius rap album in 2003. In case you are unaware, Fieldy is a fully grown IDIOT. -and until this tour, whenever tensions ran too high, we'd turn to this gem: our secret weapon for laughter.
On the drive from Cleveland tho, something changed. We started getting our fix for unintentional humor from a different dealer: Mel Gibson. His rant tapes are pure, virgin, uncensored lunacy at it’s finest, and we got hooked instantly.
So I’d like to say, formally, THANK YOU, Braveheart, for helping to keep my band together. Your uncontrollable, psychotic episodes are like sweet chamber strings to our ears… the stitches you gave your wife on her chin are nothing compared to the stitches of laughter you gave to us and our crew.
Fuck the invention of fire; THIS is the greatest gift to mankind ever. Listen up: THIS is the sound of MEL GIBSON STABBING HIS CAREER IN THE URETHRA.
GRAND RAPIDS
Pulled into town passing a Cheesecake Factory, Panera Bread (we call it Pantera Bread), and a dozen other legit franchise eateries 3 blocks from the venue. Why am i scowling? Maybe because the last time we played this room, Dan and I ate Salsbury steak at a nursing home cafeteria next door cos we thought it was our only option. live n learn.
Met this young girl who had only survived brain surgery 14 days earlier. Billy gave her a very touching shout out from the stage. I showed her that i have scars on my head in the same spot.
Wore the new silver boots that Dr Martens sent me; Two separate incidents of fans getting kicked out of the show for urinating on other fans (that makes for an easy Tweet); Love the giant haunted Newport Theatre; chandeliers and ornate molding; going deaf to SP and loving it;
BALTIMORE
Great crowd. Got to watch Pumpkins set from a secret 4th floor balcony. Crab cakes; Owner of Angels Rock Bar escorted us to a private pouring of their famous Habanero shots; Dan and Maddox cowered like women. Wooter had 3; hung on a rooftop cabana in the rain; Day off spent like so many before-- in my hotel room alone writing blog, drinking a renowned 93pt wine out of Styrofoam cup w cheap pizza;
If you were a female rhino, would you fuck this guy?
As you can see, Towson, Maryland nightlife
has a lot to offer
Hey, 4th place isn't bad on my first try.
RICHMOND
Whenever we pass south of the Mason/Dixon Line, a chill runs down my spine.... give me Harlem gangsters over sexually repressed, savage hillbillies any day…
Had an unforgettable Ethiopian dinner with the Pumpkins; Waiter insists everyone use their hands, or these spongy pancakes that look and taste exactly like napkins. (I used the serving spoon); Classic war/tour stories from Billy;
Area known as ‘Carytown’ is cute as hell; vintage shops and bistros;
Swankest dressing room I’ve ever seen. Sauna, hot tub, etc… Even century-old murals on the walls:
Our hotel was in a ghetto wasteland, and the pool was
in the middle of the parking garage.
Norfolk, VA:
Amazing venue with huge dressing rooms, basketball court, saunas, jacuzzi. Half the band went to great afterhours party in private bar inside gay club.
Long hypnotic drive at night... saw a mile-long freight train go by.. couldn't help romanticizing the life of the engineer. What must his view be like.. the vastness.. the quiet. sleeping next to the warm engine... Dan and i both still harbor dreams of crossing the country as hobos.. we've done research too. not kidding.
CHARLOTTE, NC:
Overall, too much direct sunlight; Engine problems, pulled over on side of rural highway; Dan and I wandered into the woods; Kicked over tire revealing huge ant nest, all the soldiers swarming furiously to protect their pupae; I ate one. Had to. Survivorman is my fav show.
Found creepy tiny house deep in the woods which inexplicably had an old VW Karmann Ghia (one of my dream vintage cars) in garage.. tho no driveway. So many questions.
Killing time at mechanics, we all chipped in $20 for Wooter to lick Maddox’s leg; Most people my age lead very different lives.
CHARLESTON, SC:
Beautiful town steeped in
classic southern tradition and architecture…. ate oysters with Chardonnay; temp hot as fuck; sweat and B.O.; Greg says
my stage jacket is "fermenting"; Saw a wad of chewing tobacco in a urinal; voice getting
deep fried; I smell like a worm farm.
Found some surprisingly Nylon-styled locals at a dive bar;
Visited the plantations and mansions w RockerNeal…
Ancient trees covered in Spanish moss…swamps.. weird creatures, weird birds of prey, of which i am one
Got a brass octopus bracelet from a fan that i treasure. Wore every day on stage afterwards.
What will happen next? PART II coming NEXT
Tagged as: Current Affairs , Music , Travel
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Posted on August 2, 2010 at 05:18 AM
BIRMINGHAM
DISHEVELED. Disheveled. THAT'S the word I've been looking for.
11am-ish: I’m scuttling like Quasimoto thru the narrow cobblestone side streets of Birmingham (hometown of Led Zeppelin, Black Sabbath, Duran Duran, etc…) It’s raining, of course.. but I can tell the locals here stopped giving a shit about that like 4,000 yrs ago... their babies are drenched in their strollers.. I guess if your Saxon ancestors ate coal, fought barbaric hoards, endured black plague and famine, a little water on your baby’s face when you’re walking to the mall ain’t no thang.
Boot
laces dragging behind me, I’m constantly pulling up the left side of my pants
since the London kids broke my suspenders at the Electric Ballroom… Suspenders are thorny accoutrement… I see my busted
reflection in a pharmacy window, and, combined with last night’s smeared make-up, i realize there’s fine line between ‘bohemian-esque lead singer’ and ‘out of work
trapeze artist.’
If
not for my All Access pass, all signs def point to me as being someone who sleeps
in a boxcar on hay.
Finally arrive at my favorite Goudi-inspired coffee house…the one with a cool view of a great Druid cathedral… Open the laptop.. I watch a few Ted.com lectures for inspiration.. then I hit YouTube... cos while my tea cools off and my clothes dry I’d love to see a quick vid of someone getting supremely JACKED… bonk!
Got lost on the way back.. missed 2 interviews… but met some cool young fans under a bridge who showed me the way… made it to the venue in time for a quick photo shoot with our favorite uk boutique, Disorder, whose designers set us up with some clever new coats.
In the dressing room I thumbed thru a book a fan had generously given me: The Early Ayn Rand. I opened to a random page:
“To give them what they want, but first teach them to want – to want with their own eyes, their own brains, their own hearts. To teach them to dream – then give the dream to them in steel and mortar, and let them follow it with dreams in muscle and blood. To make them true, Howard, to make them true to themselves and give them the selves, to kill the slave in them.”
Immediately brought me back to being 18 when I was obsessed with her.
We were all thrilled to learn that The Academy was sold out… we knew that meant that the show would be vicious… and it was. Beautifully so.
photos taken by drw-images
Met some loyal fans outside after… posed for pics and signed autographs for a while.. then something bizarre happened: the entire venue metamorphosized into one gigantic post-show Mega-club. The very room we had just played transformed into the “Official Black Eyed Peas Afterparty”, while the room next door became a metal/screamo dance party…if you can imagine such a thing.
(Close as i could get to Will.I.AM's Rolls Royce without getting tazed)
Ended
up rolling with the weirdness, swing-dancing to Disturbed and Refused ---and at 2am, seriously, 'weird' is fine (anything but 'bored'), but when two burly men started
passionately making out to Children of Bodom, we all simultaneously
decided that it might be best to conserve our energy for tomorrow night.
BRISTOL
Mother’s Day. (which, btw, is NOT a holiday in UK). If you have a musty summer cottage, and your dad forces you to help him “air it out” on the first day of the season... then you prob have a decent idea of what my stage clothes smell like today.. but then again, this is the LAST NIGHT of the TOUR so i kindly urge you to eat it :)
Final shows are always bittersweet symphonies… on one hand, the circus is coming to an end, and you know you’ll miss it… on the other hand, final shows ALWAYS provide the ultimate setting for tomfoolery, hijinx, and ballyhoo--- adult libations freely flow and cameras are fully charged, ready to make some memories.
a. Kidnapping Simon from My Passion mid song, holding him for ransom, then returning him wrapped completely in toilet paper.
b. Hosting the first ever KH Drum Battle Royale… 2 full drum kits on stage -M.C.’d by Dan with a top hat and cane
c.
Instructing the crowd to open their mouths while i threw thousands of Skittles
in the air… -all the while peppering the room with charming little nuggets
of hi-brow sophisticated banter such as, “Taste the fucking rainbow, Motherfuckers”
d. Fearlessly covering Journey's "Don't Stop Believing" for an encore medley with both bands on stage. At one point Simon even got on Greg’s shoulders for a human totem pole of bass majesty.
We sucked on such an intergalactic scale, that it's almost beautiful. A perfect disasterpiece on every level. What's WORSE than a train wreck? i don't know... a space shuttle wreck? See for yourselves.
The next morning we gather at the front of the bus for a pic, then make a dash for Heathrow airport.
They have a Ben and Jerry’s vending machine at our gate... smart. cha-ching, another American sucker. With the conversion rate I think it cost me like $27 for a scoop, but when one feels emotionally pulverized you can't put a price on comfort food. Don't judge.
Flight…reflecting back on the tour. At one point i looked down and saw glaciers.. ice floes like curdled milk.. awe-inspiring view..
literally took my breath away... i imagined being down there..i wanted to be down there. I stopped breathing for 3 minutes.. til the guy
next to me had another one of his half-asleep convulsions and kicked my shin.
Craned my neck and looked at my bandmates and crew. I can genuinely say, we are happy. This is the
tightest we’ve been in years… on and off stage, and i'm so proud of all of us. Xanax
starts kicking in and I sigh deeply. Hope i have good dreams about eskimos and arctic kings.. hope i have dreams about playing in UK and Europe again. i know i will.
Thank you Kerrang, Rock Sound, and Disorder, the KHK, raccoons, and all the first-time and long-time KH fans with adorable accents who made the Wake Up the Sleepers circus so blog-worthy.
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@ Molly-Rose. @Hitch Fan. @ Raccoon Society,
Hey Hitch Fan & Raccoon Society, Hey Molly-Rose :)
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I perused a quote about reason and faith, here, so just wanted to leave a quick insight. Times still ticking. So, get ready, like the countdown goes, remember get your dose of Caffeine and ample supply ready, time is here and now, handy keys to the DeLorean, ready, count it down .... 4,3... is seven,2,1... twenty-one go!
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Bringing in “reason” as a debatable perspective is an arbitrary moot inception of hanging on over a cliff after getting caught in suspended animation. In earnest, I’d rather crony up with a like-minded anarchist that befuddles the imposition-ers of faith is somehow equatable to ever be torn asunder by absence of reason as a supposed and dull exploitive of why not to have faith or presumes faith constraints reason. How tired and bored is that perspective, faith is sans reason, etcetera, as how tired and uninspired the word medley of “how tired and uninspired” is in a sentence. Truly, think, open-mindedly, if you are going to stand to incept reason into the mixture.
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Faith is not constraint of reason. Human expectations are the constraint of reason. When you expect an outcome, expecting defies the natural progression of reason and the possibilities of reason, cause and natural common-sense by reason. Esp if an expectation is only geared or rendered for a specific outcome that is meant to propagate a furnished idea – that is what constraints reason and undermines reason. Faith itself is not a constraint in and of itself.
Faith scrutinizes reason in the same manner that reason scrutinizes faith. Even if you are construing my comments in a sense of Biblical faith, (my own affections on Faith is, faith is faith, regardless of own individual’s personal sentiments) it should be applied to bare it as a pertinent truth of your conscience, if it is in tune with your own accordance of Faith. The insight is similar of a notion and passage Mat Devine shared in a previous entry, from the Bible in 1 Thessalonians “"Test all things and cling to that which is good." 1 Thes. 5:2
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The insight is, by mere contemplative states of the least of reality that is truly, utterly, ever known or knowable is dependent upon the realization those that follow the limited intelligence of humanity are no different or variable than those who believe in an infinite power or being. Except, that, the latter ones are not contained w/ limits of other people’s interpretations as to what the individual(s) believe or have faith in believing. In other words, of course, there is an open defiance of censorship. As the effect of censorship in many formulations is non-productive or progressive, plus attempts to suppress individuality and environmental compatibility and functionality. Individuals have an innate right and will, to believe / have faith in what sets their own life in accord with how they truly feel and be able to live according to a sound in-tact own conscience. The utopic is it ought to be a morally/ethically approach that is not projecting undue negative renderances into another person’s life. Give and take , choose battles, our world is further everyday from a utopia considering the majority has shunned itself to ignoring the dystopic qualties that are here right now and that media at large has veiled in elaborate dunce cap shrouding that dystopic societies are in the future although the dystopic future written about as Fiction is actually happening now. If you need hot lead dead giveaway tell-tale, read the Hunger Games. Reality shows and a corresponding match like Survivor and the way our governments handle it citizens and slowly revolve into revolutions is starkly illuminating in contrast to what science and governments would sooner have you believing recently. Citric awakening happens, just like heads up 7-up, goes round by round like kisses on the forehead of what you’re willing to fight for and go to battle.
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Morning tune ready for the day: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vSkb0kDacjs
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Personally, I think, plus, prefer, to be limitless w/ willingly choosing to have faith in an infinite that harkens possibilities that exuberate all realities and endless potential for the greater good and bless those who are willing with talents that incorporate into their environments rather than something that devoids humanity of its own existence and destroying itself within by the contraptions of limiting itself like is so often seen and has already been duly established by the acts of science and people having a follow mentality to the state of science and scientists own propulsions of ideas and constructed basis’s that are feasibly assembled for mass production to the herd mentality that those of lower I.Q’s or sheer follow mentality will gobble up without having to test and proof it and prove that the theory itself or basis of scientific belief is sketchy. Esp taking into vantage perspective, equal opportunity intelligent licensures that can compute the information readily on-hand and disseminated to be shredded apart by the citizens sans academic luxury degrees handling inspecting statistics, quantities and exacts, in other words, the scientific misnomers blatantly compiled as derivations alleged to be fact sans exact intricate intra-acted ways of actually testing and provable.
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Thus this ///.... “"Faith is the surrender of the mind; it's the surrender of reason, it's the surrender of the only thing that makes us different from other mammals. It's our need to believe, and to surrender our skepticism and our reason, our yearning to discard that and put all our trust or faith in someone or something, that is the sinister thing to me." ~ Christopher Hitchen ...////
The quoted sentiment is also a mentality that ought be evenly distributed and thus applied to science in the same rigor of scrutiny; otherwise, science in a whole would be an easily reasonable standing on reason sham completely. People whom fully put their faith (be earnest and real, that that’s what is happening) into science, as a bunch of atheists often do blindly, are, again, as I wrote briefly to “Fellow Heathen” no different than the people they claim they are different from whom have faith including certain atheists that are attempting to devalue those individuals whom believe faith in God or deity/deities, et al. So, let’s prevent the ostracization by some ethos that eludes incorporating the fragility of the argument done towards only shunning the hypocrisy of its actions in statement, as is clear with the ///....“Of all the supposed virtues, faith must be the most overrated.”...//// bit of the quote. Anyone with a brain embedded permeating reason plus own foresight is able to tear it tinker tape red, pulling apart the fallibility of the application of exclusion. So, well, let’s say it for what it is, for those who may get a bit riled or bewildered by the notion that that Hitchens quote has to be able to stand soundly to its own accord and then some to win over anything in such a debatable topic of query. Which whoever posted it aka the person behind “Hitch Fan” left it to, what is surmised as an attempted permissive gainer for something it isn’t rather than be seen for what it is. It is what it is; so let it stand to be, and let it be what it is.
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So, what to do, what to do…carry a smile, just smile at all times, esp. smitten. :) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tKrbAUjBbvU&ob=av2e
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Charles Kingsley, said, ///....“And we shall be made truly wise if we be made content; content, too, not only with what we can understand, but content with what we do not understand—the habit of mind which theologians call—and rightly—faith in God.”...////
If you consider the application of – ///....“we shall be made truly wise if we be made content; content, too, not only with what we can understand, but content with what we do not understand”...//// – you would sooner or later come to deriving the conclusion, if you apply it to theologians that it would then need fairly be dispersed to be applied to scientists and science’s schematics, as well.
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Since, yes, a bunch did catch the flip-syde subtleties and am no longer so-so much M.I.A on-the-grid stats as prior (except at a backwards C//S, let those bones right ;) and sticking true and loyal to odes n’ codes Patrick Henry stylistic lovers “Give me Liberty or Give me death” stance of a prose writer and a bit of an unconventionalist, by art and its unconfined nature, I’d rather par up with movers and doers and standers, with the following quotes. As, this vantage scope of the playing field is where and why art comes into play and tests the grounds. Art endures. Art offers the companionship of the formidable connections of now, urgency and longevity. Legacy – such a regale atoning attenuation intonation inflection to the word while delivering an infliction to naysayers. Cruxly, appropos, regardless, if all there is, is this, every day, every time, I’d rather know within all is aligned in my soul anytime death knocks. Just, must gotta have something to share and faith upon for all those marvelous and wonder-filled death feats after-all. Nil sin Numine.
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Maybe humanities’ expectations need to be readjusted? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HO1OV5B_JDw
“Skepticism Is The Beginning Of Faith.” ~ Oscar Wilde
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///....“In faith there is enough light for those who want to believe and enough shadows to blind those who don't.”...//// ~ Blaise Pascal
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///....“I heard once of an American who so defined faith, "that faculty which enables us to believe things which we know to be untrue." For one, I follow that man. He meant that WE SHALL HAVE AN OPEN MIND, AND NOT LET A LITTLE BIT OF TRUTH CHECK THE RUSH OF THE BIG TRUTH, like a small rock does a railway truck. WE GET THE SMALL TRUTH first. Good! We keep him, and we value him, BUT ALL THE SAME WE MUST NOT LET HIM THINK HIMSELF ALL THE TRUTH IN THE UNIVERSE.”...//// ~ Bram Stoker, Dracula
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///....“We fall from womb to tomb, from one blackness and toward another, remembering little of the one and knowing nothing of the other...except through faith.”...////~ Stephen King
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///....“That in such righteousness /// To them by faith imputed they may find ///
Justification towards God, and peace /// Of conscience.”...//// ~ John Milton
Ciao.
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///catch the captcha exjst9////