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    « June 2009  | Main  | August 2009 »


    Tour Recap and Inane Babbling... Raccoon Style

    Posted on July 27, 2009 at 05:03 AM

    Band on mountain sized

    Reading: Everybody Was So Young (memoir of sara and gerard murphy)

    Eating: mozzarella sticks and cole slaw

    Drinking: Leonetti cellars merlot (thanks collin)

    It's official. I’ve found the thugliest place in the known universe. A town where dreams come to die... even the smallest ones… it’s called Reno, Nevada, and it’s scarier than the Japanese version of The Ring. If I ever wanted to bury myself in an episode of grotesque self-loathing, this would be the perfect backdrop—so in that regard its almost… beautiful.

    Postcards boast the slogan, “the biggest little city in the world”… but that’s a small typo. They meant to say, “here in Reno the vultures pick the eyes out of the living” or maybe “the shittiest little city full of big people in the world”. Everyone is gigantic and old and slow. I would say they’re like zombies, but zombies are fast as fuck and don’t wear pastels.

    Mat washingtons sized

    As I type this, in the lobby of my hotel/casino, decrepit monsters surround me...clutching oxygen tanks and praying to slot machines. The carpet looks and smells like it’s been ashed on for a hundred years, and then in like 1950 some janitor had the idea to wash it out using a mop dipped in blood and flies and refried beans.

    I see an old asian woman staring into the fitness room with a childlike wonder in her eyes (what are those strange machines? Can I gamble on them?) and I’m getting the hardcore staredown from someone’s great-grandfather who looks like he just stepped out of Metallica’s Sandman video... and he’s the LEAST scary one here.

    I think about Dante’s rings of hell, manson videos, and that disturbing book by kafka where that guy turned into a giant cockroach—and I realize… those are just fairy tales.. this right here. Right now. Reno. This is the REAL shit. the casino dwellers are missing their souls, I saw strippers missing teeth and I miss my mom. the set designers of Saw V could save a lot of money if they’d just check out my room at the Ramada.

    somewhere 

    Nevada sized

    Tour has been going incredibly well. the drives have been long but the shows have been solid and the crowds have been electric.. met a ton of very devoted fans in every city…off stage there’s been some mischief..

    Oklahoma city I drove with Jeremy Dawson in a tornado chasing van to a bar in the middle of an office building…  overheard our crew playing a fun game: if you could get high with any 2 people who would it be? Gil’s answer: Dimebag Darryl and Einstein. 

    Watched a set of avant-garde monk metal in Kansas City that I really liked. --our guitar tech Wooter dosed on mushrooms and stuck Band-Aids all over one of my sneakers while I was sleeping.

    I drank at a petting zoo in waterloo, IA, and found an archery range where I fired a compound bow.

    in Grand Rapids i got yelled at for climbing up the highway wall… i read a quote that i liked: "Who breaks the thread, the one who pulls, the one who holds on?" -came up with another brilliant band name: The Butt Fox 

    so bold 

    Kh chest tat sized

    finally got access at the Rave in Milwaukee to see their famously haunted swimming pool. stayed at a grand hotel called the Pfister and got a great bottle of Tre serre Piemonte Barbera from a cool fan… Found out that until 2006 western union were still sending telegraphs.. so mad that I never thought to send one to my grandma as a joke. 

    Oyster shooters at black sheep in Ashland Oregon on the way to Portland which was wonderful as always… Sake on the rooftop of The Nines hotel..   visited our fav bar in the country, Ground Control, where they’ve restored dozens of old 80’s video games.. I played Tron and 720.

    another fan tat

    Kh arm tat sized

    In Seattle I invented a drink at Oddfellows. St. Germain and Hendricks gin with a splash of champagne and grapefruit juice. i called it The Mozzer since the smiths were on the stereo at the time. ate Beef tongue for the first time at Quinn’s. watched a huge midnight adult Dodgeball game

    Santa rosa- wine country.. great crowd.. fights. discovered new fav word: Jejune. Found great quote by Plato: “Love is a serious mental disease.”

    In LA got to drop by to watch Kat work.. which was honestly like watching jimi Hendrix play the guitar.. she’s a true master of her craft.. afterwards reconnected with matt skiba, and had great afterparty at Bardot... had amazing time w benji and new friends at Tropicana

    Kat!

    Kat sized

    Las vegas --saw billboards for “$100 tooth extractions.” went to gun club—fired Tommie gun, sniper rifle (Remington) and pistol (1911) loved spending time with our old friend Tomo from 30 Seconds to Mars.. dinner at the Foundation Room—this was my view

    Vegas sized

    Reminder to self: form conceptual death metal band named John Voight

    Form a low-bit no-fi math rock project called Poison Sumac   

    some more random pics from my Blackberry:

    king of the obvious

    Alarm sized

    cutest thing ever 

    Baby porsche sized

    antiquated prank

    Converse sized

    Dommin looking guilty

    Dommin hackey sack sized

    fan hip tat

    Kh hip tat sized

    leg tat

    Kh leg tat sized

    collar tat

    Kh shoulder tat

    wooter attacking me with a chair.. see my left foot up in defense 

    Wooter chair sized

    scottish novelty hat backwards so party is in front, business in back

    Scottish hat sized

    skybar in cali... if he's napping here, then who's out doing the date raping?

    Tan man sized

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    Hello From Tour. Papa Raccoon's Departure From Chicago and Reality

    Posted on July 15, 2009 at 03:39 AM

    Listening to : unknown legend by neil young, scream by A7X, the last 2 minutes of Glósóli by Sigur Ros over and over.

    Netflix: Tesla Master of Lightning, Shootout Season 1 discs 1-3

    Drinking: Piemonte Barbera and Layer Cake Shiraz

    Eating: omega 3’s like a ninja

    Mat hands sized

    Twitter. I just. don’t. get it. You’re eating a bagel and renting DVD’s? you’re hungover? You’re taking your cat to the vet? That’s great! truly! But WHO could POSSIBLY give a shit? Someone tell me! Honestly, I have like 4 best friends in the world, and I don’t give a fuck what they do during the day. We are drowning in a cult of such retarded vanity that old self-absorbed prima donnas like myself are starting to feel… almost like.. regular.

    One thing I do appreciate about Twitter tho is its brevity. So in that spirit, today’s blog will recap my last week in that sporadic entropic postmodern twit town style.

    Mat raccoon sized

    Saw this sign by my hotel elevator in Milwaukee. like, in case of fire, be sure to creep very quietly down the stairs.

    Fire creep

    Applied for the Chicago Croquet Club. I will be only member under 55.

    Ultimate post-KH life goal: I just want an island. A tiny tiny island.

    Invention: a small personal hammock that attaches underneath 18wheeler trucks. Just wait in the bushes at a red light, sprint out, hook up and travel the country for free with your ass just inches above the highway. This is a recession, people. Time to get creative.

    Woke up feeling mad at my parents that they never sent me to Institut Le Rosey in Switzerland when I was a child. Their students wear these classic white blazers with emblems and have formal dinners and they sword fight and row and speak French and sail and….what the FUCK were my parents thinking??? how could someone possibly be expected to roam comfortably with the cultured class without... I mean, i didn’t even get to go to sleepaway camp. They were like, “mat, go play in the woods. Holler if you get impaled or something.” Fuck. I want a life Do Over.

    photo shoot with tyler shields for album cover. 

    Hose photo shoot sized

    Updating my bucket list: Places to go: Istanbul, St. Barts, Puglia, Italy, Jose’ Ignacio, Uraguay, Morocco, Goa, Greek Islands, Brazil, The Dalmation Coast.

    I know it’s been years but every time I hear the words, 'Governor’ and ‘Schwarzenegger' together, in a row, I just smile and die inside a little at the same time.  

    Mat crazy sized

    Had a horrible dream that pete wentz was trying to kill me. It was so frustrating. I was like “this sucks! Why are you trying to kill me?? Let’s just hang out!”

    Sat on my balcony. made friends w a fly for a sec. Anthropomorphisized him. Little spritely personality, an accent, the whole bit.

    Walked for hours downtown at night with the advance of our new album in headphones. Epic. Wondrous. This is the prize. This is the reward.

    Left on 30-date tour with Lacuna Coil.

    New potential song titles written on my arm; Alcoholica, and Blood Diamonds Are Forever

    -been wearing the same sleeveless Smiths Meat is Murder shirt for 3 days now. Afro is insane so I tried the headband technique- just ended up looking like I'm from Galilee or some hot shitty place where people slaughter lambs.

    Found a note reminding myself to research Marchesa Luisa Casati- a marvelously eccentric Italian woman known for walking naked down the streets of Venice with her 2 pet cheetahs on diamond leashes. This was in 1920. Where are the interesting people now?

    Drinking in a petting zoo… every 5 min this goat says "Bahhh" and it sounds just like "maaattt". Too weird. Can’t stay here.

    Mat eyore 2 sized

    then Eyore tried to eat my Blackberry

    Eyore sized

    My label president got swine flu, so I've promised to order pork whenever I can, in the spirit of vengeance.

    Recently very fascinated by owls- need to own one. A huge one. No wait…a really small one. They are so alien.

    Played show in Iowa and I already miss civilization. Met a guy named Big Meat. Your name’s Big Meat? Ok I’m completely homesick now.

    Bathroom carve sized

    Bathroom at a truckstop in Minnesota. There are two types of men in this world. men who carry knives into the shitter, and guys like me who don’t. some bumpkin was compelled to carve ‘crazy train’ and ‘brain washed retards’ into the paper dispenser. I guess we are all god’s children.

    Finishing up all album art by tomorrow’s deadline. Adderall helping.

    New concept for band photo. Band members tied to posts. firing squad of models firing arrows from bows instead of rifles - vintage white suits with black KH armbands. 

    end.

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    This Week's Free Downloads



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