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Posted on June 30, 2009 at 02:01 PM
Listening
to: Rex the dog The Knife Heartbeats remix
Eating:
eggs and avocado and Vicodin
Drinking
: lager mornings and Claret afternoons
Heard another crash outside my window last night. Living next to a lethal intersection, I have dreams that the ghosts climb up the side of my building 14 floors and into my room, into my bed. The sound of screeching tires, then crashing glass and sirens always sirens…
Why are there no public service announcements for Drunk Netflixing? It must be recognized as a harmful activity. Opened my mailbox today to find Twilight, Pi, and Millers Crossing. Wtf. No memory whatsoever of ordering those.
Another ticket on my ghetto scooter. WTF How? I was literally sitting inches away at a Starbucks the entire time! these crafty ninja cops are getting very Minority Report lately. Eerie. I have to say I’m quite impressed. Rode fast for a mile with the ticket flapping violently on the mirror until it tore off and disappeared. That takes care of that.
I’m in a rare pocket of time post-mix/pre-tour, and although we have photo shoots and vids to prep for this week, as well as rehearsals and a full international setup for what will be our biggest and best album ever, I’m in a strange sad existential mental state. I think it’s simply because the last few months were so fucking relentless, and the voids that follow chaos are nauseating. Sometimes its easier in a frantic state to distract oneself from real life, then when it hits you, it really hits you. I remember my first and only skydiving experience. There was a massive rush of adrenaline, then the guy strapped to my ass like a Siamese twin deployed the shoot and we floated, bored, for 3 min, we landed, I walked behind a tree and puked.
starting my mornings the same with eggs and avocado and a hacker pschorr beer. Read more about Byron's orgies and duels in Istanbul and Greece- bought a book of random facts and learned that a human head will stay conscious for 15 seconds after being decapitated by guillotine. -became WAY too preoccupied with that thought for WAY too long. Got depressed. Started thinking of my age in terms of days, not years.. wonder why I never thought to throw a 10,000-day-old party when I was 27. Could have been the greatest party of all time. Fuck.
Watched a spider make a web outside my window for an hour. Struggling to find the meaning in anything, i signed onto Myspace, and that's when the universe punched me in the dick by immediately streaming a new Brokencyde video. Oh wow. Is this real life? I laughed. I cried. In small violent spurts. My bitter face always returning to a perma-cringe. The Mayans predicted the end of days to be 2012, maybe they were just off by a few years?
Regardless, it’s a sign…an omen. Like a swarm of locusts, only much much more annoying. Thank you, Great Architect… I understand perfectly. my mission is clear, and there isn’t a moment to lose. have to fix this shit. we have to return the music industry to its former glory. The golden age when the public had faith in media outlets and some songs were… actually… songs. Status: Reinvigorated.
Mentally
prepping for July 4th when our proud nation of pyromaniacs will celebrate
independence and raise our glasses to honor those brave revolutionaries and
original terrorists (O.T.’s) we call our founding fathers. Light match, stand
away.
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Posted on June 24, 2009 at 05:00 AM
moon over toronto on my last night
A little buzzed on Masi Campofiorin. I’m finally back among the concrete giants of Chi-town standing on a
balcony as the headlights of the highway rice burners shimmer like plankton 300 ft
beneath me.
This morning I woke from a dream that i had a floorplan of the Stockholm airport tattood onto the
palm of my hand. looking very terrorist-chic i shuffled down the block to caribou coffee to read another chapter of a Byron
biography. A Korean friend perched on the wall nearby to wax
philosophical for a minute. Her eyes following some unhappy moms pushing
strollers of blobs, in a humorously thick accent she said, “you and me, we are
not ordinary peoples. You know? You and me, we are other planet peoples.”
Need to clear my head, came home, cranked some old school nyc hardcore, then Brittany If You Seek Amy, tegan and sarah’s cover of Dancing in the Dark, A7X scream, Peter Gabriel Mercy Street, and our new album in its entirety, burnt some toast, had a breakfast beer and dove back into the tempest that is KH post-studio pre-tour frantic beautiful chaos where my blackberry just vibrates relentlessly til the battery dies.
this was my skyward view as i napped on the steps of a mansion down the street
Last week, after Toronto, I made another detour to the big apple for label meetings, then headed to CT for a long-overdue family visit where my adorable grandma fortifies me with 127 pounds of fried chicken for the drive home.
westbound, the roadside carnage was more diverse. An endless rigamortis succession of North American fauna: beavers, coyotes, skunks, deer, raccoon, rabbits, foxes. Thought of another t-shirt idea: (I'm Not Here Right Now), and a contender for my growing list of imagined band names that could be worse than ours, (The Sixth Annual Crawfish Boil).
Things I learned from
the journey
1. if you are bored in a
public restroom, a little white tape over one letter can turn a sign for a Baby
Changing Table into a sign for a Baby Hanging Table.
2. There is an Exit 0 in
Indiana
3. greatest street name
ever is the 299th Combat Battalion Parkway
4. this woman looks like E.T.
i attended greg's bday sushi dinner where i presented him with a giant bottle of tequila in the shape of a tommy gun -which BTW he was rightfully mortified to be seen carrying around the city all night. it's now permanently displayed above the downstairs bar at Angels & Kings
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Posted on June 15, 2009 at 05:39 PM
Mixing is just about
completed. Haven’t had a minute to breathe or post blogs, but the finish line
is within sight. -been eating every day at a lesbian bar down the block called
The Beaver and at a shack off the park called Chippy’s where they sell fried
fish and blast death metal. I promise to post in more detail in a couple days..
in the meantime, here’s a pic of a local drifter whom i befriended. i call him The Maharaja and i promised not to disclose his exact location to certain area doctors or police.
see, let this stand as exhibit A.
When certain sects of our counterculture claim to be 'anti-fashion' or 'utilitarian', they are 'full of shit'. When one expends just as much effort to appear as though you aren’t making a statement, then you are making a statement. –and ironically you are probably more self aware and trend conscious than any uptown fashion plate. Trust me, if you were dressing purely for function, you wouldn’t be wearing a Misfits Tshirt. Chances are, youd look more like this guy, holding a plate of tabouleh wearing a fucking eskimo poncho.
Oh and i urge you to start each day, as i have lately, with a viewing of this masterpiece
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Posted on June 8, 2009 at 07:21 PM
Listening to: NPR
Eating: my signature
raccoon sandwich (swiss and mayo)
Drinking: mitolo jester
cab, too many old fashioneds at the bowery (tradition)
Reading: canadian news… hockey mostly
Do I have time to go puke?
Can you watch my bags
while I go puke?
Things I've said this morning to airport employees, while waiting for my flight back from a 24hr mind erasing trip to NYC.
left my blackberry on during takeoff. -didn't crash the plane as i had hoped.
5 days ago I drove from Chicago to Toronto in solitude to assist in the mixing of the album. Very meditative experience. Counted corpses along the way. 44 deer plus 3 severed deer heads. 11 Raccoons, 6 opossums, 1 bloated hairless stiff thing (wombat?), and one quick black field mouse who I personally equalized with my front left tire. I was surprised at the sorrow I felt afterwards.. maybe cos we are all rodents deep down – food for hawks.
listened to an NPR piece about the collapse of GM while coincidentally driving thru Flint, MI.
-driving alone after several hours your mind starts to play tricks. i started reminiscing about the best summer of my life. I was 8 the first time the gypsies kidnapped me, and thats when i was taught how to dance and play the lute and steal spoons and cuff links. i learned how to stay warm for days by setting huge piles of rubber tires on fire. Then i started to think about when i was a fly... how i used to love drifting in the wind by the landfill. i'd land on an eggshell or on the eye of a dead squirrel, barf on them, suck it up, lay some larva, that was my thing. Delirium I guess you call it.
So this is Canada. 14 hour days in the studio. no social life, no daylight. It’s like I put myself in a witness protection program. Songs are sounding incredible tho. Chibi from The Birthday Massacre came by to sing in the chorus of Mouth2Mouth. Blew us all away.
Here i am trying to biodegrade
into soil outside LaGuardia. only worked halfway.
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Posted on June 1, 2009 at 02:01 AM
Listening to: Ministry –Stigmata, Catherine Wheel - Chrome
Eating: instant oatmeal, vitamins
Drinking: Super Tuscans exclusively from newly gifted KH challis
Reading: old journals
After all these sleepless nights we have finally wrapped
up the recording of the album. Now I’d like to wrap myself up like a pharaoh’s
sarcophagus and bury myself under my sand-colored blankets for about 200 years. I haven’t felt this dizzy since I was little, when I used to spray Lemon Pledge in my mouth whenever my mom asked me to dust the piano.
Sleep and bio-rhythms are such foreign concepts, and at this point I just. can’t. turn. off. Semi-fortunate since there is still a great deal left to do. Tomorrow I go to Toronto to assist in the mixing with David Bottrill who just finished working with our friends in Placebo and AFI.
Last week Amanda Palmer lent her vocals to one of the new songs,
and it’s mind-blowing. In this climate of economical collapse, it’s so cool
when bands can collaborate in the true spirit of art. She’s a genuine visionary
and I hope I can return the favor one day.
Speaking of art, in the process of building off a previous cover concept I googled ‘children pirates’, which didn't give me any useful images, although I’m pretty sure instantly added my name to the FBI sex crime watch list database. Then, after hitting a mental wall, in an act of desperation I simply searched ‘cool image’. that's when the universe sent me this:
i defy anyone to tell me why snowflake sweater white socks and these minorities could possibly be looking for instruction on 'awesome' from an arian dude who looks like the protagonist from every 80's ski film ever made, and who BTW is wearing stone washed Canyon River Blues and has man toe.
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@ Molly-Rose. @Hitch Fan. @ Raccoon Society,
Hey Hitch Fan & Raccoon Society, Hey Molly-Rose :)
¶
I perused a quote about reason and faith, here, so just wanted to leave a quick insight. Times still ticking. So, get ready, like the countdown goes, remember get your dose of Caffeine and ample supply ready, time is here and now, handy keys to the DeLorean, ready, count it down .... 4,3... is seven,2,1... twenty-one go!
¶
Bringing in “reason” as a debatable perspective is an arbitrary moot inception of hanging on over a cliff after getting caught in suspended animation. In earnest, I’d rather crony up with a like-minded anarchist that befuddles the imposition-ers of faith is somehow equatable to ever be torn asunder by absence of reason as a supposed and dull exploitive of why not to have faith or presumes faith constraints reason. How tired and bored is that perspective, faith is sans reason, etcetera, as how tired and uninspired the word medley of “how tired and uninspired” is in a sentence. Truly, think, open-mindedly, if you are going to stand to incept reason into the mixture.
¶
Faith is not constraint of reason. Human expectations are the constraint of reason. When you expect an outcome, expecting defies the natural progression of reason and the possibilities of reason, cause and natural common-sense by reason. Esp if an expectation is only geared or rendered for a specific outcome that is meant to propagate a furnished idea – that is what constraints reason and undermines reason. Faith itself is not a constraint in and of itself.
Faith scrutinizes reason in the same manner that reason scrutinizes faith. Even if you are construing my comments in a sense of Biblical faith, (my own affections on Faith is, faith is faith, regardless of own individual’s personal sentiments) it should be applied to bare it as a pertinent truth of your conscience, if it is in tune with your own accordance of Faith. The insight is similar of a notion and passage Mat Devine shared in a previous entry, from the Bible in 1 Thessalonians “"Test all things and cling to that which is good." 1 Thes. 5:2
¶
The insight is, by mere contemplative states of the least of reality that is truly, utterly, ever known or knowable is dependent upon the realization those that follow the limited intelligence of humanity are no different or variable than those who believe in an infinite power or being. Except, that, the latter ones are not contained w/ limits of other people’s interpretations as to what the individual(s) believe or have faith in believing. In other words, of course, there is an open defiance of censorship. As the effect of censorship in many formulations is non-productive or progressive, plus attempts to suppress individuality and environmental compatibility and functionality. Individuals have an innate right and will, to believe / have faith in what sets their own life in accord with how they truly feel and be able to live according to a sound in-tact own conscience. The utopic is it ought to be a morally/ethically approach that is not projecting undue negative renderances into another person’s life. Give and take , choose battles, our world is further everyday from a utopia considering the majority has shunned itself to ignoring the dystopic qualties that are here right now and that media at large has veiled in elaborate dunce cap shrouding that dystopic societies are in the future although the dystopic future written about as Fiction is actually happening now. If you need hot lead dead giveaway tell-tale, read the Hunger Games. Reality shows and a corresponding match like Survivor and the way our governments handle it citizens and slowly revolve into revolutions is starkly illuminating in contrast to what science and governments would sooner have you believing recently. Citric awakening happens, just like heads up 7-up, goes round by round like kisses on the forehead of what you’re willing to fight for and go to battle.
¶
Morning tune ready for the day: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vSkb0kDacjs
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Personally, I think, plus, prefer, to be limitless w/ willingly choosing to have faith in an infinite that harkens possibilities that exuberate all realities and endless potential for the greater good and bless those who are willing with talents that incorporate into their environments rather than something that devoids humanity of its own existence and destroying itself within by the contraptions of limiting itself like is so often seen and has already been duly established by the acts of science and people having a follow mentality to the state of science and scientists own propulsions of ideas and constructed basis’s that are feasibly assembled for mass production to the herd mentality that those of lower I.Q’s or sheer follow mentality will gobble up without having to test and proof it and prove that the theory itself or basis of scientific belief is sketchy. Esp taking into vantage perspective, equal opportunity intelligent licensures that can compute the information readily on-hand and disseminated to be shredded apart by the citizens sans academic luxury degrees handling inspecting statistics, quantities and exacts, in other words, the scientific misnomers blatantly compiled as derivations alleged to be fact sans exact intricate intra-acted ways of actually testing and provable.
¶
Thus this ///.... “"Faith is the surrender of the mind; it's the surrender of reason, it's the surrender of the only thing that makes us different from other mammals. It's our need to believe, and to surrender our skepticism and our reason, our yearning to discard that and put all our trust or faith in someone or something, that is the sinister thing to me." ~ Christopher Hitchen ...////
The quoted sentiment is also a mentality that ought be evenly distributed and thus applied to science in the same rigor of scrutiny; otherwise, science in a whole would be an easily reasonable standing on reason sham completely. People whom fully put their faith (be earnest and real, that that’s what is happening) into science, as a bunch of atheists often do blindly, are, again, as I wrote briefly to “Fellow Heathen” no different than the people they claim they are different from whom have faith including certain atheists that are attempting to devalue those individuals whom believe faith in God or deity/deities, et al. So, let’s prevent the ostracization by some ethos that eludes incorporating the fragility of the argument done towards only shunning the hypocrisy of its actions in statement, as is clear with the ///....“Of all the supposed virtues, faith must be the most overrated.”...//// bit of the quote. Anyone with a brain embedded permeating reason plus own foresight is able to tear it tinker tape red, pulling apart the fallibility of the application of exclusion. So, well, let’s say it for what it is, for those who may get a bit riled or bewildered by the notion that that Hitchens quote has to be able to stand soundly to its own accord and then some to win over anything in such a debatable topic of query. Which whoever posted it aka the person behind “Hitch Fan” left it to, what is surmised as an attempted permissive gainer for something it isn’t rather than be seen for what it is. It is what it is; so let it stand to be, and let it be what it is.
¶
So, what to do, what to do…carry a smile, just smile at all times, esp. smitten. :) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tKrbAUjBbvU&ob=av2e
¶
Charles Kingsley, said, ///....“And we shall be made truly wise if we be made content; content, too, not only with what we can understand, but content with what we do not understand—the habit of mind which theologians call—and rightly—faith in God.”...////
If you consider the application of – ///....“we shall be made truly wise if we be made content; content, too, not only with what we can understand, but content with what we do not understand”...//// – you would sooner or later come to deriving the conclusion, if you apply it to theologians that it would then need fairly be dispersed to be applied to scientists and science’s schematics, as well.
¶
Since, yes, a bunch did catch the flip-syde subtleties and am no longer so-so much M.I.A on-the-grid stats as prior (except at a backwards C//S, let those bones right ;) and sticking true and loyal to odes n’ codes Patrick Henry stylistic lovers “Give me Liberty or Give me death” stance of a prose writer and a bit of an unconventionalist, by art and its unconfined nature, I’d rather par up with movers and doers and standers, with the following quotes. As, this vantage scope of the playing field is where and why art comes into play and tests the grounds. Art endures. Art offers the companionship of the formidable connections of now, urgency and longevity. Legacy – such a regale atoning attenuation intonation inflection to the word while delivering an infliction to naysayers. Cruxly, appropos, regardless, if all there is, is this, every day, every time, I’d rather know within all is aligned in my soul anytime death knocks. Just, must gotta have something to share and faith upon for all those marvelous and wonder-filled death feats after-all. Nil sin Numine.
¶
Maybe humanities’ expectations need to be readjusted? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HO1OV5B_JDw
“Skepticism Is The Beginning Of Faith.” ~ Oscar Wilde
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///....“In faith there is enough light for those who want to believe and enough shadows to blind those who don't.”...//// ~ Blaise Pascal
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///....“I heard once of an American who so defined faith, "that faculty which enables us to believe things which we know to be untrue." For one, I follow that man. He meant that WE SHALL HAVE AN OPEN MIND, AND NOT LET A LITTLE BIT OF TRUTH CHECK THE RUSH OF THE BIG TRUTH, like a small rock does a railway truck. WE GET THE SMALL TRUTH first. Good! We keep him, and we value him, BUT ALL THE SAME WE MUST NOT LET HIM THINK HIMSELF ALL THE TRUTH IN THE UNIVERSE.”...//// ~ Bram Stoker, Dracula
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///....“We fall from womb to tomb, from one blackness and toward another, remembering little of the one and knowing nothing of the other...except through faith.”...////~ Stephen King
¶
///....“That in such righteousness /// To them by faith imputed they may find ///
Justification towards God, and peace /// Of conscience.”...//// ~ John Milton
Ciao.
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///catch the captcha exjst9////