Fuse.tv

RSS This Blog

Twitter Updates

follow Mat on Twitter

User Comments

MY NEW CLOCK TOWER, Gay Crush, Body Mods, Mom with Cancer, Bieber Look-Alike, & Confessions of an Escaped JEHOVAH'S WITNESS

Dear Papa ‘Coon,

My parents are smokers. They’ve smoked since they were in their 20-somethings, and they always have done since I remember. Their smoking has been causing rows for a few years, and last year was the worst. We had an argument every day about it, and we grew far apart because of so many nasty rows. Then for some reason around late November, early December time, they decided to compromise. Now they don’t smoke in the car or living room if I’m there and they reduced how much they smoked a bit. The arguments stopped and we grew closer than ever. That was the happiest couple of months in the past few years of my life.

But now the arguments have started again. They’re smoking more, and they’re starting to go back on the compromise. They constantly say that I try to own this house because they’re not allowed to smoke whilst I’m there, that I’m controlling and I bully them, and whatever other crap they make up to try to hit out at me and make me feel guilty, so that I’ll let them smoke. It makes me feel so bad, but I don’t know any other way to get them to stop smoking. I’ve tried EVERYTHING. But they’re at that stage of smoking that they just DON’T CARE; they ignore health concerns, they say that smoking is the only thing that they enjoy and won’t give it up; they don’t care what it’s doing to their bodies. They’re like druggies.

I've never liked them smoking, but I’ve always put up with it up until a few years ago. A few years ago, when I was 12, I started to get teased because my stuff always smelt like smoke. I never told my parents this. As much as I tried to keep all my stuff in my room (the only place where they do not smoke), it’s so hard to keep all of my belongings in my room or away from smoke in a smoking household, especially my school things and washing. I started desperately trying to get them to stop smoking, but as per usual I found that they ignored everything. I’ve spoken to them in different ways, most of them ways that could be successfully communicated. But no matter what I say or how I say it, it doesn’t get through.

So last year I started being nasty about it, losing my temper at them and blaming their smoking for everything and then towards the end of the year they agreed on the compromise. I thought it was finally working, that they’d stop smoking and they’d be okay. But it’s not.

How do I get them to stop?

The reason that I do not want them to smoke isn’t just because I don’t want to breathe the smoke in, or because of the smell; I DON’T WANT THEM TO DIE.
Every day I worry about what could happen to them, and think about how many years they have left. I’ve thought about this since I was a young child, taught about the bad effects of smoking in school. What if they died when I was still young, or got lung cancer, or bad breathing problems, or just if something bad happened to them?

I know that it’s probably too late to stop them from getting some kind of disease from it, because they’ve been smoking for decades and they already have some side-effects. But if I could get them to stop, maybe they’d be okay.
If you or any Raccoons could suggest something that’d work, I’d be forever grateful. This is the only idea I have left.
Thank you.
Love forever,
C.
xo

C. on January 28, 2012 at 06:59 AM
2011 YEAR IN REVIEW

Hey NL7 -

Don't worry and take comfort that Hitler would totally agree with your views on faith as he was big on faith too with the Catholics on his side! Hitler's totally got your back! Keep on keeping that faith!

********
We were convinced that the people need and require this faith. We have therefore undertaken the fight against the atheistic movement, and that not merely with a few theoretical declarations: we have stamped it out.

- Adolf Hitler, Speech in Berlin, October 24, 1933
********
Secular schools can never be tolerated because such schools have no religious instruction, and a general moral instruction without a religious foundation is built on air; consequently, all character training and religion must be derived from faith ...we need believing people.

- Adolf Hitler, April 26, 1933, speech made during negotiations leading to the Nazi-Vatican Concordant
*********
Oh and your writing is atrocious.

lol on January 27, 2012 at 09:58 PM
2011 YEAR IN REVIEW

@ Molly-Rose. @Hitch Fan. @ Raccoon Society,
Hey Hitch Fan & Raccoon Society, Hey Molly-Rose :)
¶
I perused a quote about reason and faith, here, so just wanted to leave a quick insight. Times still ticking. So, get ready, like the countdown goes, remember get your dose of Caffeine and ample supply ready, time is here and now, handy keys to the DeLorean, ready, count it down .... 4,3... is seven,2,1... twenty-one go!
¶
Bringing in “reason” as a debatable perspective is an arbitrary moot inception of hanging on over a cliff after getting caught in suspended animation. In earnest, I’d rather crony up with a like-minded anarchist that befuddles the imposition-ers of faith is somehow equatable to ever be torn asunder by absence of reason as a supposed and dull exploitive of why not to have faith or presumes faith constraints reason. How tired and bored is that perspective, faith is sans reason, etcetera, as how tired and uninspired the word medley of “how tired and uninspired” is in a sentence. Truly, think, open-mindedly, if you are going to stand to incept reason into the mixture.
¶
Faith is not constraint of reason. Human expectations are the constraint of reason. When you expect an outcome, expecting defies the natural progression of reason and the possibilities of reason, cause and natural common-sense by reason. Esp if an expectation is only geared or rendered for a specific outcome that is meant to propagate a furnished idea – that is what constraints reason and undermines reason. Faith itself is not a constraint in and of itself.

Faith scrutinizes reason in the same manner that reason scrutinizes faith. Even if you are construing my comments in a sense of Biblical faith, (my own affections on Faith is, faith is faith, regardless of own individual’s personal sentiments) it should be applied to bare it as a pertinent truth of your conscience, if it is in tune with your own accordance of Faith. The insight is similar of a notion and passage Mat Devine shared in a previous entry, from the Bible in 1 Thessalonians “"Test all things and cling to that which is good." 1 Thes. 5:2
¶
The insight is, by mere contemplative states of the least of reality that is truly, utterly, ever known or knowable is dependent upon the realization those that follow the limited intelligence of humanity are no different or variable than those who believe in an infinite power or being. Except, that, the latter ones are not contained w/ limits of other people’s interpretations as to what the individual(s) believe or have faith in believing. In other words, of course, there is an open defiance of censorship. As the effect of censorship in many formulations is non-productive or progressive, plus attempts to suppress individuality and environmental compatibility and functionality. Individuals have an innate right and will, to believe / have faith in what sets their own life in accord with how they truly feel and be able to live according to a sound in-tact own conscience. The utopic is it ought to be a morally/ethically approach that is not projecting undue negative renderances into another person’s life. Give and take , choose battles, our world is further everyday from a utopia considering the majority has shunned itself to ignoring the dystopic qualties that are here right now and that media at large has veiled in elaborate dunce cap shrouding that dystopic societies are in the future although the dystopic future written about as Fiction is actually happening now. If you need hot lead dead giveaway tell-tale, read the Hunger Games. Reality shows and a corresponding match like Survivor and the way our governments handle it citizens and slowly revolve into revolutions is starkly illuminating in contrast to what science and governments would sooner have you believing recently. Citric awakening happens, just like heads up 7-up, goes round by round like kisses on the forehead of what you’re willing to fight for and go to battle.
¶
Morning tune ready for the day: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vSkb0kDacjs
¶
Personally, I think, plus, prefer, to be limitless w/ willingly choosing to have faith in an infinite that harkens possibilities that exuberate all realities and endless potential for the greater good and bless those who are willing with talents that incorporate into their environments rather than something that devoids humanity of its own existence and destroying itself within by the contraptions of limiting itself like is so often seen and has already been duly established by the acts of science and people having a follow mentality to the state of science and scientists own propulsions of ideas and constructed basis’s that are feasibly assembled for mass production to the herd mentality that those of lower I.Q’s or sheer follow mentality will gobble up without having to test and proof it and prove that the theory itself or basis of scientific belief is sketchy. Esp taking into vantage perspective, equal opportunity intelligent licensures that can compute the information readily on-hand and disseminated to be shredded apart by the citizens sans academic luxury degrees handling inspecting statistics, quantities and exacts, in other words, the scientific misnomers blatantly compiled as derivations alleged to be fact sans exact intricate intra-acted ways of actually testing and provable.
¶
Thus this ///.... “"Faith is the surrender of the mind; it's the surrender of reason, it's the surrender of the only thing that makes us different from other mammals. It's our need to believe, and to surrender our skepticism and our reason, our yearning to discard that and put all our trust or faith in someone or something, that is the sinister thing to me." ~ Christopher Hitchen ...////
The quoted sentiment is also a mentality that ought be evenly distributed and thus applied to science in the same rigor of scrutiny; otherwise, science in a whole would be an easily reasonable standing on reason sham completely. People whom fully put their faith (be earnest and real, that that’s what is happening) into science, as a bunch of atheists often do blindly, are, again, as I wrote briefly to “Fellow Heathen” no different than the people they claim they are different from whom have faith including certain atheists that are attempting to devalue those individuals whom believe faith in God or deity/deities, et al. So, let’s prevent the ostracization by some ethos that eludes incorporating the fragility of the argument done towards only shunning the hypocrisy of its actions in statement, as is clear with the ///....“Of all the supposed virtues, faith must be the most overrated.”...//// bit of the quote. Anyone with a brain embedded permeating reason plus own foresight is able to tear it tinker tape red, pulling apart the fallibility of the application of exclusion. So, well, let’s say it for what it is, for those who may get a bit riled or bewildered by the notion that that Hitchens quote has to be able to stand soundly to its own accord and then some to win over anything in such a debatable topic of query. Which whoever posted it aka the person behind “Hitch Fan” left it to, what is surmised as an attempted permissive gainer for something it isn’t rather than be seen for what it is. It is what it is; so let it stand to be, and let it be what it is.

¶
So, what to do, what to do…carry a smile, just smile at all times, esp. smitten. :) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tKrbAUjBbvU&ob=av2e
¶
Charles Kingsley, said, ///....“And we shall be made truly wise if we be made content; content, too, not only with what we can understand, but content with what we do not understand—the habit of mind which theologians call—and rightly—faith in God.”...////
If you consider the application of – ///....“we shall be made truly wise if we be made content; content, too, not only with what we can understand, but content with what we do not understand”...//// – you would sooner or later come to deriving the conclusion, if you apply it to theologians that it would then need fairly be dispersed to be applied to scientists and science’s schematics, as well.
¶
Since, yes, a bunch did catch the flip-syde subtleties and am no longer so-so much M.I.A on-the-grid stats as prior (except at a backwards C//S, let those bones right ;) and sticking true and loyal to odes n’ codes Patrick Henry stylistic lovers “Give me Liberty or Give me death” stance of a prose writer and a bit of an unconventionalist, by art and its unconfined nature, I’d rather par up with movers and doers and standers, with the following quotes. As, this vantage scope of the playing field is where and why art comes into play and tests the grounds. Art endures. Art offers the companionship of the formidable connections of now, urgency and longevity. Legacy – such a regale atoning attenuation intonation inflection to the word while delivering an infliction to naysayers. Cruxly, appropos, regardless, if all there is, is this, every day, every time, I’d rather know within all is aligned in my soul anytime death knocks. Just, must gotta have something to share and faith upon for all those marvelous and wonder-filled death feats after-all. Nil sin Numine.
¶
Maybe humanities’ expectations need to be readjusted? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HO1OV5B_JDw
“Skepticism Is The Beginning Of Faith.” ~ Oscar Wilde
¶
///....“In faith there is enough light for those who want to believe and enough shadows to blind those who don't.”...//// ~ Blaise Pascal
¶
///....“I heard once of an American who so defined faith, "that faculty which enables us to believe things which we know to be untrue." For one, I follow that man. He meant that WE SHALL HAVE AN OPEN MIND, AND NOT LET A LITTLE BIT OF TRUTH CHECK THE RUSH OF THE BIG TRUTH, like a small rock does a railway truck. WE GET THE SMALL TRUTH first. Good! We keep him, and we value him, BUT ALL THE SAME WE MUST NOT LET HIM THINK HIMSELF ALL THE TRUTH IN THE UNIVERSE.”...//// ~ Bram Stoker, Dracula
¶
///....“We fall from womb to tomb, from one blackness and toward another, remembering little of the one and knowing nothing of the other...except through faith.”...////~ Stephen King
¶
///....“That in such righteousness /// To them by faith imputed they may find ///
Justification towards God, and peace /// Of conscience.”...//// ~ John Milton
Ciao.
***
///catch the captcha exjst9////

NL7, hi-5alive! on January 25, 2012 at 04:11 PM
2011 YEAR IN REVIEW

Mat I recently started my GCSEs and I'm stressing out so much. I've only had two exams so far and they were Maths and History. I have to resit my maths because I didn't get a C and I think I have failed my history exam.
I learned today that you have to get at least a C in Maths, English and Science to be able to get into sixth form and I started crying because I don't think I'll be able to get into sixth form now. But to be able to do what I want when I'm older I'll need to go.

Becky on January 24, 2012 at 03:59 PM
2011 YEAR IN REVIEW

Hey Mat! I think you might find this interesting.. Especially the lack of information we've gotten about ACTA.

http://anonops.blogspot.com/2012/01/things-you-need-to-know-about-acta.html

hanners on January 24, 2012 at 10:18 AM

Archives

2011 YEAR IN REVIEW

Posted on January 10, 2012 at 10:45 AM

Dispatch from wintër wünderland:

So much for isolation. One decent snowstorm and the entire bloody loch has frozen solid. You can literally walk right up to my clock tower, so now a crowd of herdsman and locals have assembled outside- begging at the main gate. It’s bolted, thank god, so I toss them random things from my office window… a chocolate croissant, part of a dragon roll, a nice USB stick, an iphone adapter, whatever, but it’s never enough!

One leathery old woman with a mustache and an eye patch just stands there, swaying back and forth, literally “wailing” throughout the night. Sounds like a dented air raid siren. I GET IT. YOU’RE HUNGRY. PLEASE SHUT UP. Eat a seal or something. Does she even care that I have a blog to write?

I'm trying to be patient. I heard a great old saying, 'A watched pot never boils.' Not that I’ve never boiled anything in my life—I mean, who even does that. Cavemen?

Speaking of, my spy says that they’ve begun referring to me by the nickname “Versteckenjunge”- which means “child who hides like coyote” or whatever... And that they’re conspiring to send the town “shlampe” with a dagger in her boot to take me out… Fucking jackals.

Spent an hour looking up “hot oil” on Youtube; I gleaned NOTHING in terms of medieval castle defense, but at least now I know how to relax my hair. …Anyway so that's my month.

So while the rest of you füquers were out there nestled all warm in your footie pajamas, eating the roofs of ginger bread houses- waiting for Santös Claüsen and Kristös Kringle to arrive, I was pecking fiendishly at the laptop, gathering the material for this massive post: The Year in Review!

I looked through all the old posts, thousands of cell phone pics, entire web histories, text messages, emails, etc… It was arduous, but also very fun to reflect on 2011:

It was my first full year living in NYC— and I continue each day to be amazed by how much is revealed around every corner. Lucky to have made some priceless friendships with some of the most impressive people I’ve ever known. Acted on stage alongside some real pros, and learned more about the craft every day.

I lost a fern, gained a flytrap, expanded my vocab (Lugubrious: extremely mournful, sad or gloomy) and I added “lather” and “slather” both to my Words That Suck list (alongside “limber”, “pubis” and “rucksack”.) Read some epic books, and discovered Tom Ford Tobacco Vanille, so I don’t smell like a philly cheesesteak anymore.

Came up with a couple acronyms to shorthand the phrases I text the most. (GMFOH: get me the fuck out of here. YGBFKM: you've got to be fucking kidding me.) Traveled a lot, wrote 40 new songs, + 2 screenplays- set up a new Tshirt line (Animal Royalty -out this Spring) and got to reconnect with a lot of my extended family who live within an hour of the city.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

But, most of all, 2011 has been a wonderful year for the Raccoon Society. Looking back over the posts and comments, I realized how inspired I’VE become by YOUR contributions and what a positive influence we all are on one another.

If there’s any single theme that emerges from this year of posts, it’s that hardship leads to personal growth.

SO, looking ahead, I don’t think we need any collective "New Years Resolution" for all the raccoons. Aside from possibly assassinating LMFAO, I’d simply like to suggest that we KEEP EVOLVING. Most people are so prone to stagnate. Instead, face more fears; continue to take the difficult road.

Sometimes it feels like we’re being pushed back against the current. How easy it would be to just give in and float downstream, but we must keep fighting the good fight.

Keep your compass. Remember to breathe. Like Wilde said, “wisdom comes from winter.” It’s ok to be knocked 2 steps back… so long as we take 3 steps forward. Pain, in whatever form, ALWAYS leads to a life lesson. Each struggle gives you depth. And TRUST ME, depth is the sexiest trait anyone can possess.

I wish us all a safe, brilliant 2012.

You are the rare ones.

Hiding from the spear tips of Eskimo Mercenaries,

Xoxo

Papa Raccoon

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

FAV Video of the Year

TOP 11 Songs I Listened To In 2011

1. Circa Survive - Frozen Creek

Powered by mp3skull.com

2. Lykke Li - Love Out Of Lust

Powered by mp3skull.com

3. Björk - Army of Me (Sucker Punch Remix)

4. I Blame Coco - Self Machine (High Quality)

Powered by mp3skull.com

5. Zoo Kid - Out Getting Ribs

6. Jonsi - Animal Arithmetic

Powered by mp3skull.com

7. Deftones - You've Seen The Butcher

8. Skrillex - First Of The Year (Equinox)

9. St. Vincent - Marrow

10. Jay Z - Niggas in Paris

11. TV on the Radio - DLZ (Breaking Bad OST)

Powered by mp3skull.com

TOP 20 Random Pics From My Cell Phone in 2011

1. Baby Praying Mantis on My Palm in Lobby - NYC

2. Dressing Room Under The Box - NYC

3. Halloween kitchen - Chicago

4. Colleen's Squid & Whale Handshake - Chicago

5. Litchfield Angst. - CT

6. Natalia Kills Midtown Rooftop - NYC

7. Outside Stage Door. Spiderman - NYC

8. My Sign for Occupy Wall St. - NYC

9. Flea Market - Brooklyn

10. Freezer Squid Cake - Chicago

11. Heartbreak - NYC

12. Skull in Mastic - Long Island NY

13. Rebecca - West Village NYC

14. Looking Off Cliff - Cornwall England

15. Minack Theatre - Land's End, England.

16. Mom and Dad After Spiderman - Library Hotel - NYC

17. Minetta Tavern Bandit - Ultragrrrl - NYC

18. Decoupage Skull - Newquay England

19. Defaced Billboard - Brooklyn NY

20. The Cure - Beacon Theatre - NYC

TOP 10 Random TEXTS From My Phone in 2011

1. She looks nothing like that one girl from Hills. More like Hills Have Eyes.

2. I'm swinging by in 20 minutes. Get ready for 150lbs of what the fuck.

3. You can keep the eyeliner and the conjunctivitis.

4. I'm your friend. You can't just laser me away like your shoulder hair.

5. The exterminator just left, and now my vibrator is missing.

6. I love her. OF COURSE I want her to be happy. I just don't ever want to see it or hear about it.

7. Stroke of genius – or just regular stroke?

8. I'd invite myself over, but in my country we’d consider that “De kat op het spek binden“ which means "tying the cat to the bacon."

9. Hating on girls Halloween costumes. Either be a whore all year round or not at all.

10. Vampires always tryin to suck on me and shit

Best Film of 2011: Midnight in Paris

My Top 10 Netflix Streams of 2011

1. Dear Zachary; A Letter to a Son About His Father

2. Collision: Christopher Hitchens vs. Douglas Wilson

3. Cave of Forgotten Dreams

4. Stones In Exile

5. The Cove

6. Ayn Rand: In Her Own Words

7. F for Fake

8. Bill Cunningham New York

9. The Edukators

10. Roast of Charlie Sheen

TOP 23 Youtube Videos I Watched in 2011

1. Insane Talent Contest

2. And It Starts Right Now

3. Keep Fucking That Chicken

4. Dennys Grand Slam

5. Wedding Fight‬‏

7. Richard Dawkins on Koranic Morality

9. 12-Year-Old Music Prodigy

10. Björk Talking About Her TV

11. What Are Our Young Novelists Up To?

12. Tap Dance 50 Cent

13. Miniatur Wunderland *** Largest Model Railway in the World

14. Check It Out! with Dr. Steve Brule: Brule on Sushi

‪17. Amazing Speech London Protest Retro-Spective‬‏

19. Prank Phone Call - Dublin School Demolition

20. Wanna Come to My DJ Night? - Portlandia on IFC

21. Kurt Vonnegut Graphs he Plot of Every Story.

22. Mid-West Freestyle Canoe 2007 -- Marc Ornstein

23. The Romantics - BBC documentary - Eternity

10 Random Tweets Sent in 2011

1. “Cab driver: "What are you up to tonight?" Me: "Decomposing." Cab driver "Huh? Is that the name of a club?" 5/24/11

2. “Anyone out there thinking of opening a nut stand? I have literally hundreds of great name ideas.” 6/29/11

3. “Must be 80 Year Olds With Gigantic Pendulous Balls Day in the steam room of my health club.” 6/24/11

4. “One good thing about adulthood is never playing Musical Chairs again. Holy Fuck that game used to stress my little self out.” 7/20/11

5. “Whenever I hold hands w @sn00ki, people stare like they've never seen a mixed-race same-sex couple before. it's 2011 WAKE UP” 8/22/11

6. “I get pepper sprayed ALL THE TIME...what the fuck is everyone complaining about? #manup #occupy #ows 11/22/11

7. “Dealers in Wash Sq park are so polite these days. "Would the gentleman like to purchase some weed today?"” 3/30/11

8. “They say you die twice. Once when your heart stops, again when someone says your name for the last time. MAKE ART.” 1/25/11

9. “Why are you wearing medieval rings on all your fingers? You don't live in Narnia. You live in Naperville.” 12/11/11

10. “Laughter isn’t the best medicine. Morphine is. Laughter is like 30th.” – 12/2/11

TOP 10 Quotes Referenced in 2011

1. "A ship in the harbor is safe, but thats not what ships are built for." -William Shedd

2. “Each of us has heaven and hell in him.” -Oscar Wilde

3. “The seeds of godlike power are in us still: Gods are we, Bards, Saints, Heroes, if we will.” –Matthew Arnold (1822-88)

4. "The job of the artist is not to succumb to despair but to find an antidote for the emptiness of existence.” -Midnight in Paris

5. “We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." –Oscar Wilde

6. "i have struck a city, and they call it Chicago. I urgently desire never to see it again. Its inhabited by savages" -Rudyard Kipling

7. “If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer." -Henry David Thoreau

8. “Death twitches my ear. "Live," he says, "I am coming." ~Virgil, Minor Poems, Copa

9. "Never fear being vulgar, just boring." -Diana Vreeland.

10. "All great truths begin as blasphemies." -George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950)

Read Comments (17) | Add Comment | Permalink

Add to:

MY NEW CLOCK TOWER, Gay Crush, Body Mods, Mom with Cancer, Bieber Look-Alike, & Confessions of an Escaped JEHOVAH'S WITNESS

Posted on December 22, 2011 at 05:54 AM

Happy holidays to the Waschbärgesellschaft and “Hallo” from the brand new Raccoon Society Headquarters in Stockerhöfe, Austria!

I wasn’t getting the solitude I needed for writing in NYC, so FUSE kindly commissioned a tower be built in the center of the Lago di Resia. (WIFI included)

I’ve been eating ginger snaps, drinking chai, going through all these questions and I keep coming back to the thought; “if we could all just surgically implant our ipod headphones, live alone in the woods (or a tower in a lake), and never talk to anyone EVER, there’d be no more problems!”

Until that day, I’m immensely grateful that we’ve created this community as a safe harbor in the storm. Speaking of storm, the local herders here speak in whispers of a yearly winter gale known as “Glatteisalbtraum” which, literally translated to English means “Black Iceman Nightmare”—so I’m looking forward to that! (Jeeves, fuel the copter.)

Seriously, THANK YOU for continuing to post brilliant questions and comments and for reaching out to each other. Proud of all of you for sharing.

Stay tuned for next week when I post a series of TOP 10 lists to close out the year.

Xoxo

Full-blown idiot recluse.

Mat

1. Hello people of the Raccoon Society!

I come to all you awesome people with a question/dilemma. I think I really like my best friend (who's a dude). We hang out almost every day, watch Resident Evil marathons, chalk everything at a local park, listen to records, etc...

The problem is not only that he's my best friend, but he also might be gay... He hasn't come out to anyone, but he gives off vibes, and a lot of our friends think he might be. I'm not really sure what to do, because if I flirt he could get scared away or pissed off.

Is my only option at his point to ignore my feelings? He's such an awesome person and I don't want to lose his friendship, but I really kind of want a relationship... I know my question isn't as important as others are, but help? :)

a thousand hours

Dear A Thousand Hours (cool Cure reference)

Is this your real life, or the rejected pilot episode of Degrassi Next Generation?

I realize this is keeping you up at night, staring at the glow-in-the-dark stars on your ceiling, but relax; it’s pretty textbook. I’ve been there and it stings. But in the words of Molly Ringwald’s dad in Sixteen Candles, “Sam, if they didn’t hurt they wouldn’t call them crushes.”

I suppose you COULD risk complicating things by boldly laying your feelings out on the table, (or in your case, writing it out in chalk)-- but here’s the thing: Gay, straight or bi, I believe we’re all intuitive enough to know whether the other person is into us or not.

If you’re dropping obvious crumbs, and he’s not picking them up, (A wise Agony Aunt recommended the brilliant-if-not-subtle "I really wish I could date someone like you” hint.) then here’s your homework:

a) TREASURE the fact that you have a great friend. (I have like 1 and a half). A genuine friendship is the most valuable thing in this messed-up world. (Arrested Development DVD set is close 2^nd)

b) Make sure that in all other aspects of your life you are non-judgmental, sensitive, compassionate, cool, open-minded, and “there” for him. IF he’s gay (and I suspect he is) then he may be struggling with a lot of confusing feelings right now. When or if he comes out, (which is none of our business) it’ll be to you.

c) Swallow the crush. Bury it like a pharaoh. The feelings will pass like a fever, softening gradually; But in the meantime, use it as fodder for sonnets and songs and things… When you get older, you’ll privately enjoy the emotional edge that minor burns like this give you. (Chart the pain using the poetic Schmidt Sting Pain Index. Sweet Bee.)

d) Recognize the qualities that you find attractive in him… and look for those in the next boys you meet in line at the My Chem show.

e) Finally, enjoy being young! Before you know it, you’ll be saying shit like, “OW. Doctor, I can’t move my neck. I must’ve SLEPT ON IT WRONG.”

Next time you go “chalking” in the park, please draw a raccoon head and send us the pic. Bonk.

2. MAT

I’ve been raising money for charity by getting sponsored to get a corset piercing. Finally got it yesterday and a lot of the pictures have my KH tattoo included. It would mean a lot to me if you could put one of the pictures on Facebook or on your site. I think they are pretty but i know a lot of people don’t understand body modification. I would love everyone’s opinion.

We raised over £100 for the charity so I think it was worth it and a lot of fun despite the pain :)

Emma Wilsona

Emma,

I’m afraid of 3 things in this world: Clowns, girls, and needles. That means if you ever got your hands on a Bozo mask, you’d be a triple threat! (I’d probably die of fright like The Ring.)

I have to admit; most extreme body mods freak me out… (the mere THOUGHT of corneal tattooing or penile subincision makes me carsick- Hence, my reluctance to ever attend Burning Man). STILL, I’d rather be freaked out than bored any day—and corset piercing lies somewhere on the more “tasteful” end of that scale.

I hail you for your bold artistic expression, but even MORE so for your charitable spirit and sense of enterprise. I’m proud that you’ve taken the initiative to raise money in such a creative way, and I hope more of us follow your example. Bravo.

What do you guys think?

3. ??? Mat

A while back you helped out a fan who's mom was dealing with cancer. I went back and watched it and it made tons of sense to me.

My mom has stage 3 breast cancer and after almost two years of treatments she has given up.

I've gone to every treatment with her, moved in with her, loved her and did everything to support her. I'm 23 and have one younger sister who is married with a baby and another sister who is older with a husband and baby. It seems the most of all of this is on me because I have the freedom to take care of my mom.

Now I’m snapping. My boyfriend broke up with me because he couldn't handle my mood swings and all my friends have really backed out. As soon as they heard the word “cancer” they acted like they could catch it from just being in our apartment.

My mom and I had a nice Thanksgiving but after as we shared some wine she told me she no longer wants to fight the fight. The treatments make her too sick to enjoy the little things in life like taking a walk or even watching movies. She told me she was done and just wants to live her life out with no chemo or Dr. or anything.

She wants me to understand and I acted like I did but that night I cried til the sun came up. I feel she is letting us down and only thinking of herself. Well, what about me?

My sisters will do ok. My dad was never a dad and I will be left with nothing. My job is shitty I am a cashier at a Victoria Secret store and going nowhere in life. Last night I drank a bottle of Jack and really thought about checking into a hotel and slitting my wrist and ending it before I lose my mom.

I know I could go in to a hospital for help but we have no medical insurance which would only make things worse for my family. Why do I feel my mom is being so selfish? Why won't anybody listen to me?

My mom has a county DR. He is so cold and we don't get another Dr. to go to. I am devastated and depressed.

Any suggestions would help. Thank you if anyone heard me.

Kaylee

Kaylee,

Yes, we all heard you, and our hearts go out to you. I’m so fucking sorry. Can’t imagine how torn up you feel.

You're doing two difficult things at the same time right now: becoming an adult and caring for a sick parent. That's something not everyone can do. Deep breath.

a) Regarding your mother’s choice to discontinue treatment; Is it based on depression or based on sound medical advice?

I have no way of knowing the specific severity of her case, but, in CERTAIN cases, when patients are given a choice of how to spend their remaining days, because chemotherapy is SO BRUTAL (side effects from the treatment like hair loss, vomiting, etc… are worse than the disease itself) it comes down to “quality vs quantity”. The choice to take SOME sense of control back, to leave on your terms, perhaps sooner, but better able to fully “enjoy” the time with greater clarity, is the lesser of the two evils.

IF this is the case with your lovely mom, you have to respect that. She’s already fought for 2 years like a champion. Don’t think for a MOMENT that she isn’t thinking about you with every decision she makes.

b) Regarding your friends and your ex-BF ditching you; Bear in mind, this is “big boy” stuff, and not everyone is ready for it. Feel lucky they show their true character now. At the same time, as a culture, we are ALL pretty ill-equipped… so don’t burn down anyone’s house just yet.

c) Regarding the role of “caretaker” that has befallen you;

Every long-term girlfriend I’ve ever had has fit into this category. There’s an Eleanor Roosevelt quote that I love: “A woman is like a teabag — only in hot water do you realize how strong she is."

How you handle this crisis will prepare you for the rest of your life. This experience, though tragic, is adding so much dimensionality to your personality you have no idea. Yes it’s UNFAIR. Yes it SUCKS BEYOND BELIEF. But you’re proving yourself to be brave, capable, resourceful, strong, generous, and loving… and believe me, THOSE are the rare qualities that matter.

(At the same time, please beware of being FULLY consumed by the role. It’s vital that you discover WHO YOU ARE. Your mom would agree, ULTIMATELY, your 1^st responsibility is to yourself. All our moms leave us, and we ALL have to be able to stand on our own, sooner or later. You have no control over your mom's illness, your sisters' choices, or your assigned doctor, but you have lots of control over your future, which has the possibility to be great. Even if you don't feel very awesome right now, I promise –)

d) Regarding the Jack Daniels incident; Who are you, Slash?

RIGHT NOW, please contact your mom’s doctor and ask him to arrange for you to speak with a counselor. If you’re having even fleeting thoughts of suicide, he will not let your lack of insurance stand in the way of treatment.

All the feelings you’re having are perfectly normal---A day of chugging whisky is NOT RECOMMENDED, but at the same time, you are entitled to a break. You are entitled to a breakDOWN. You’re entitled to feel exhausted and scared. You’re a human being and this is A LOT to fall on the shoulders of a 23 year old.

(Remember, this whole discussion started about your mom’s “will to live”, so don’t be hypocritical. You need to fight to live as well.)

Next time you need to “reset”, instead of a BOTTLE of Jack (this isn’t 1984 and you’re not in Van Halen), sip 1 glass of Macallan 18 Year. (this whole incident has graduated to the good stuff). and watch the Arrested Development Season 1-3 DVD box set.

e) Regarding your job. Believe me when I say, 23 is YOUNG. A cashier job at Victoria's Secret may feel "shitty, but it's actually a great place to start a career, and it's going to help you in the long run. (plus I’m a sucker for that kiwi body spray)--

f) FINALLY, realize that all the resentment and anger you’re going through is normal— this will take a long time.. there will be lots of ups and downs… throughout it all, you need to lean on a support network of friends—the thing is YOU ALREADY HAVE ONE right here. :) If you feel comfortable enough, post your email for us.

YOUR HOMEWORK:

-Take “J” up on the offer to email her: from86@snail-mail.net

-Breathe.

-Watch this:

4. ????MAT

I look just like Justin Beiber. Help me.

Not his hair, not his clothes, but his face and body type. I mean, I look JUST LIKE HIM. I can't put enough emphasis on that.

I have long black hair, and a few piercings, which throw some people off, but my friends and classmates have noticed. They rip on me and give me hell constantly. It's become a daily distraction. Even one of my teachers constantly used to call me "Justin" long after I'd asked him not to- (until I went to the office and threatened to get him for harassment.)

But that doesn't stop my peers. And I'm terrified that no matter what I do in life, especially if my band actually gets somewhere, that it'll always follow me. I don't want to spend the rest of my life as "The guy that looks like Beiber."

What do I do? Help me. The constant comments are really starting to bring me down, to the point where I thought about sliding an exacto knife across my cheek, just to leave a scar to distract people.

Mark H

Mark,

Make no mistake, scars ARE cool... but you have to earn one in a Vespa accident, botched operation (props to my neurosurgeon), or a badass duel for you to take the cred. If this were 1903, I’d send you to an Austrian academy to earn a fashionable “Heidelberg Scar” from fencing. (Considered marks of courage- always on the left side, since your opponent holds his sword with his right.)

-But, here in 2011, your Exacto-knife idea would just render you That Kid Who Looks Like Justin Bieber But With A Staph Infection He Gave Himself In An Art Supply Store.

I can understand how frustrated you are…. You should see my shoulders droop whenever drunken skanks tell me that I look like “that one guy from the Cyoor!!!!”.

Don’t lower yourself to their level. Push past it. Once you enter the criminal cartel (AKA music industry), there’ll be far more savage critiques thrown at you than comparisons to heartthrobs. Don’t listen to ANY of it. Think of these current jabs from your classmates as training.

Another thing, its not “IF” your band “gets somewhere”, it’s “WHEN your band conquers the fucking universe”. :) Commit to it, full on. I guarantee that if you focus on your songs, your own archetype will emerge. (Have you tried wearing non-prescription vintage glasses? Choose a distinct set/color and NEVER be photographed without them)

Lord Byron described Time as “the Corrector where judgment erred” and as “the Avenger”. Meaning, in two years, when your first record drops, no one will give a shit about this trivial nonsense.

Take stock in the upside: You don’t look anything like me :)

Homework: buy glasses HERE

Read Byron

5. Dear Mat,

I'm having really hard time right now. My parents are Jehovah's Witnesses and so is my whole family and my two closest friends. I grew up in this religion but for the past six years I've felt out of place. I don't think I've ever had complete faith in their beliefs. Especially these past 2 years. But then at the same time I'll go through these times when I feel like I belong and this religion is what I'm supposed to be doing with my life (usually only lasts a few days).

Anyways, I'm graduating high school at the end of january and due to Jehovah's Witnesses beliefs on association I won't be able to see any of my friends I've made from school at all after that.

Plus my job choices are limited due to my parents. All I want to do is go to art college but my parents don't want me to. I'm thinking about leaving the religion but if I do I'll have to move out and won't be able to come back.

On top of that, no one in my family or any of the friends I have in the religion will talk to me or associate with me. I'll be leaving everyone. And the way that the Witnesses explain this will make me look selfish and guilty and weak.

I'm scared and confused. I guess my question is do you have any advice for me?

Hannah

Hannah,

Aside from having a great name, I’d like to compliment you on the trajectory of your intellectual development. According to your timeline, you were in 7^th grade when you first started feeling “out of place” -and a sophomore when you truly questioned the insane things that were being indoctrinated into you.

Congratulations. You're right on schedule for becoming a rational, freethinking asset to the world at large, and a welcome guest at any of my friends' dinner parties (after you turn 18).

Seriously, JW is HARDCORE SCARY SHIT. I happen to be very close with a JW- survivor, so I understand the gravity of the decision you are about to make.

I asked for his advice, and (after insisting that he not be mentioned by name) he said, “I guess my best advice is that she should be true to herself. When it comes to the JW religion it really is all or nothing; believe or leave. If you don't believe in a particular teaching 100% you’re told to study harder, pray for help to understand it clearer, and finally just accept it until one day you find yourself believing in it.”

He explained that if you DO leave, as you said, you will be excommunicated ("shunned"), and prevented from having any communication with your friends and family. “Shunning is a cult-like control tactic that Witnesses and other religions (such as Mormons) employ in order to keep members scared and in line.”

He was a witness for 29 years before he left. Like you, he stood at the crossroads, “...ultimately I decided that it was more important to stand up for my real beliefs than it was to keep contact with my family. I still misses them all dearly, but I constantly remind myself that it is their choice, not mine.”

He added, “It’s also important to remember why these people continue to shun you: they truly believe they are doing what is right and that this is the only way they will be able to save your life. They do it out of love, however misguided, and therefore I find it very important not to slip into a spiral of hate. I refuse to become bitter and instead have embraced my decisions and lifestyle.”

If you choose to leave, feelings of depression and abandonment are prone to start up after the shunning begins. Get professional help from a psychiatrist, keep busy with school and hobbies, and check out support groups online. (http://reddit.com/r/exjw is a good place to start)

"If she decides to stay, I highly recommend attending college regardless of what her parents say. She absolutely will not get "disfellowshipped" for getting an education." Finally he added, "Tell her to befriend "worldly" people, they aren't evil."

As for “what to do with your life”?—Survey Says: Anything You Fucking Want. The world is wide. Explore all it has to offer, and make your own judgments as a free thinker. Lead an adventurous, exciting, and moral life. Keep your mind open to all possibilities.

"Test all things and cling to that which is good." 1 Thes. 5:2

I’m excited to see what you become. Hopefully one day you can reach back into the intellectual abyss and rescue others from the brainwashing machine. It’s in your hands.

Read Comments (21) | Add Comment | Permalink

Add to:

20 QUESTIONS- Lightning Round PART II: My Breakup with Snooki, Marriage, Music, Public Puking and more...

Posted on December 1, 2011 at 05:20 AM

Loyal Raccoons,

Happy Thanksgiving?

Despite being an American holiday, and (ah-hem) last week, it’s still a cool opp for all of us to reflect on the things for which we are grateful.

Eg: I’m grateful for the family at FUSE and all the Raccoons who continue to write in questions (Kickstart, Amelia, Anna, Kaylee, Sarah, Mark, Lana, A Thousand Hours, etc…)

And I’m EQUALLY as thankful for those of you who are generous enough to RESPOND to one another. (J, Alpha, Alicia, McLovin, Dorian Gray, etc…)

I’ll be answering several of those myself in the next edition, but for now, enjoy PART II of the 20 Questions Lightning Round!

Fight the Good Fight.

Your loving Infidel,

Xo Mat

(Please continue to leave all correspondence in the comment box, or via Twitter @RACCOON_SOCIETY or @MATDEVINESLIFE)

11. @AlexandraIsRad

I recently got back from Ghana, where conditions were very rough. I'm planning on going back. Have u ever been?

Sad to say, I haven’t been to Ghana or any Third World nation yet. I did, however, fly Spirit Airlines last month, so I can kind of imagine what it’s like. (Shouting in foreign tongues, haggling, no safety standards, etc... My seat was so claustrophobic and Funyon-y smelling, I had flashbacks to when I used to hide in my sister’s hamper when I was 4.)

I’m assuming you went as a part of a volunteer program? If so, I hail you.

To any other Raccoons thinking of doing something similar, visit www.idealist.org for a list of charities, non-for-profits, and relief projects in various countries. We can all do more to follow Alexandra’s heroic example.

Please post pics for us.

12. @cchonyc

I'm wondering what's inside your refrigerator. Any intriguing foods inside it? Can you post a photo?

You have such strange brains. Love it. Fine here you go, you freak. Unless one sad piece of cilantro and some wine is “intriguing foods” I think we’re both out of luck here.

13. From Trav (via Comment)

Mat, #ThingsYouShouldStopDoingInYour30s is a trending topic on Twitter right now. In your primrose world, how would you answer that?

Hang on, let me focus my monocle and read this again. My backbrace is itchy. Here we are. What the hell is a “Twitter”? Shit my dentures just fell on the floor. SOMEONE GRAB THOSE FOR ME? Ow my blood hurts.

Well, beyond being a nice round number, I don’t even see what’s noteworthy about 30. I’m guessing an American from the midwest started this topic. Social conventions here are so dark and boring, we get boners whenever things fit neatly into boxes. “Hey Marsha just turned 30! Lets put on pastel sweatpants and LIST things we CAN’T do anymore!” Shoot me.

Fuck 30. I hope that all you raccoons preserve a youthful openness to new things, adventure, risks, dreams, til your last breath. Don’t ever let the fire go out. It’s the saddest thing in the world.

In the words of Al Pacino in Scent of a Woman: “There isn't nothin' like the sight of an amputated spirit. There is no prosthetic for that.”

Of course with age comes wisdom- Every mistake is a chance to grow, and we should all vow to keep making huge ones... just not the SAME ones.

So I guess my #ThingsYouShouldStopDoingInYour30s would be: Stop defining yourself by your age. (ok and also MAYBE wane off the apple martinis, lower back tattoos and public puking)

14. @valeriesmi

We all can see that you do not share Snooki’s love for sun worshipping. However, do you share a passion for doing laundry together?

All Raccoons listen up. Please don’t mention the Snookster on this blog any more. I’m calling a jihad on all references to the Snook. We broke up over Thanksgiving and it hurts. If I even smell shea butter or pubic hair relaxer I’m a fucking mess.

I realize now I need a dark man with juiced up pecs and sick definition, but who also knows when it’s time to be tender. I might as well leak it here first: I’m with Brooke Hogan now.

15. From Lisa Hammond (via KH Fbook page)

what's your favorite food and biggest musical influence?

The Cure /Catherine Wheel tie. & My fav food is the triple bypass cardiac nightmare power tower (cold water lobster tail ON a filet mignon ON a deepdish pizza, with internal melted butter fountain)

16. Daniel (Via Comments)

My name is Daniel, I'm a vocalist and I was wondering if you could give me advice and tips on singing and writing lyrics. I draw inspiration from the people, feelings and places around me but I feel I'm not even close to the full potential I could have.

@avalanchi

Like you; I have a singing voice that is raspy, airy, nasally. People either love it or hate it. Should I keep it up?

Regarding your voice(s):

DEF keep it up! I LOVE unconventional voices. The world needs another Scott Stapp like I need Elephantitis. Admire singers like Michael Stipe, Perry Farrell, Billy Corgan, Brian Molko, etc.. ALL of whom illicit polar reviews from critics. Just find your true voice, whatever it is, and embrace what makes you unique. DO consistent warm ups. Buy a book called Set Your Voice Free by Roger Love.

Regarding lyrical inspiration:

My best advice is to stay hungry; literally and figuratively. Comfort is your enemy right now. Covet this time beneath the radar to take risks… keep a pen on you at all times. Its more important that a line convey real emotion- don’t sweat if it doesn’t rhyme or fit in the meter.. the lyrics should be able to stand alone with or without the music. Don't keep separate notepads for LYRICS and for POETRY-- it should all be the same thing.

17. @xXxellenn

What is your favourite song on this moment? And your favourite candy?

I’m like 2 years late to the game, but I’ve been spellbound by this track for the past week.

Ps: I don’t really eat candy any more. My Chicago dentist said it “rots yo teef.” He also said I’ve been “hoodwinked” by my overpriced NYC dentist. Fuckin' hoodwinked.

18. @stormizeis

I really need this one answered in depth if you can. I know you're swamped. but...what’s your thoughts on marriage?

“In depth?” shit. There goes my plan to steal the rug from the Chelsea Hotel tonight. Fine. Maybe writing this answer will keep me out of the klink another day.

Ok. Marriage. Off the cuff, I think it was a less obsolete concept in 600BC when our life expectancy was 21. Guess back then, almost anyone can be the "love of your life" when your life was so short.

“I’m so glad we're married!” “Me too!” “Hey before this gangrene spreads to my spine, I’m gonna head out and grab us a couple rattlesnakes for dinner.” “Cool. My scorching case of Stage 5 Malaria is making me a little tired, so I’ll just nap by this nest of black widows ‘til you get back.”

In modern times, it’s more complicated. A marriage can either be the most epically beautiful testament to love, or a catastrophic misstep. There’s an unfair societal pressure, on girls in particular, who’ve been groomed from infants to believe that marriage is their “purpose.” -That it’s an achievement in and of itself, regardless of your happiness. Therefore, many of them rush into it for the wrong reasons, with the wrong dudes.

Some of the most impressive older women I know happen to be unmarried, because they have the integrity not to compromise their hearts. In my opinion, if there is such a thing as sin, selling out your heart might be the worst sin of all.

If you do elect to get engaged, do it for the right reasons. Listen to your gut. Of course at the start there needs to be an intense emotional/physical attraction, but there must be depth beyond that.

You’re going into war with this person, so take the time to go into some battles first. See how you both handle the stresses that life can throw at you.

Looks will fade. Tits will sag- net worth will ebb and flow. But the truly important qualities will never tarnish. Are they beautiful inside? Do they love you to death? Are they nice, ethical, loyal, original, intelligent, sane, low-maintenance, interesting, funny? Wait… Sorry, the thought of sagging tits just made me burp with a tiny bit of puke on the back end.

It’s also good to have a strict list of non-starters or deal breakers. Like, do they have a history of kicking cats, white supremacy, voting for Bush, or getting confused by the whole “your” vs. “you’re” thing?

Do your best friends and closest family adore them as well? Do they make you proud, make you a better person, make you stronger, remove stress from your life, have your back, share your principles and goals, inspire you, impress you, challenge you and grow with you? Do they make you laugh your ass off? Do they save you the last bite of Chunky Monkey?

Do they like The Cure but hate Friday I’m in Love? Can they handle themselves in a bat fight? Do they have cool underwear?

If you’re lucky enough to find someone who completes you on most of those levels, then marriage is possibly the most romantic gesture I could ever imagine.

Accept them for everything they are, flaws and all. Respect each other enough to grow as a couple AND as individuals.

Be mega creative when you propose… nothing tacky or canned. And throw an unforgettable secular/humanist wedding that can be seen from outer space.

Make sure I’m invited—and PLEASE seat me at the cool table. Shut up, you know what I’m talking about.

19. @Musicisdaanswer

My dad played Jack Johnson covers for years at home. He’s gone. My once-indie-punk-mom cringes at guitars now but I wanna learn.

Start with piano lessons… EVERYTHING you learn on piano you can apply later to guitar. Maybe learn some of HER favorite songs… what’s indie punk? Fugazi? Maybe learn Waiting Room? I’m sure after enough time passes, if she sees that you apply yourself, and the sting of your Dad hurts less, you can transition over to the guitar. (but between you and me, it’s the drummers that get all the girls)

20 @KristieCupcakes

What would have done with your life if you wouldn't have started a band?

Crime. But cool clever Jason Bourne stuff, not white trash bullshit.

Read Comments (31) | Add Comment | Permalink

Add to: