fuseblog

90210 2008?

It was one of the most groundbreaking series in television history. It was a show that combined wealthy characters with a glamorous setting. It took the daring stance of placing privileged white kids in a place like Beverly Hills. The show's social conscience was a kid who used half a container of hair gel each day. The show was Beverly Hills 90210, and it was the televised background of the 90s.

So naturally, it makes sense to update this sunkissed relic for the present day, which is exactly what the bigwigs over at the CW Network plan on doing. This sort of Bev Hills: The Next Generation deal will be helmed by the creators of Veronica Mars and might make its debut in the fall, soon after the beach club closes for the season.

Jimmy Kimmel + Ben Affleck = P.R.

And we don't mean Puerto Rico! It all started with a long-running, manufactured "feud" between Jimmy Kimmel and Matt Damon (the famous actor). Periodically, Kimmel will launch barbs at Damon from the comforts of his talk show chair, and will sometimes "apologize" to Matt Damon at the end of his show, claiming theyve run out of time, implying that Damon wasnt big enough to have on before preious guests. This is likely news to most of you, as one has to watch the Jimmy Kimmel Show to have heard of all this. But no longer! Now, this episode has reached new heights of silliness and free publicity. First, Kimmel gfriend Sarah Silverman released video in which she declares that she's you-know-whatting Matt Damon. And now, the inevitable retort, with the not-so-inevitable claim that Jimmy Kimmel is you-know-whatting Ben Affleck. Sometimes, Mr. Kimmel can be funny.

24 Doing 48

Days, that is! Kiefer Sutherland is heading to the pokey following multiple drunk driving convictions. But don't fret, the writers' strike has made this all somewhat palatable - he won't be missing any 24 shooting. Let's see him get out of this one. And apparently, Chloe lent him some reading materials. And underwear. From the NY Daily News:

The actor brought reading materials and some extra pairs of underwear when he reported to the lockup, celebrity news Web site TMZ.com reported.

He’ll spend Christmas, New Year’s and his Dec. 21 birthday behind bars, but beginning his sentence right away allows him to take advantage of his unexpected vacation from “24.” Work on the hit Fox television series has been suspended due to the writers’ strike.

Californication vs. Californication

In terms of legal battles it isn't Brown v. Board Of Education, but it IS funny - if the thought of a wealthy, shirtless group of weathered musicians suing a group of sex-crazed, Hollywood sun worshippers is funny to you. You have, no doubt, heard of the album Californication by Red Hot Chili Peppers. It's also likely that the TV show Californication, starring Fox Mulder, has come across your radar. Finally, you are probably familiar with the legal system. It's within this entity that the Chili Peppers are suing Showtime for stealing the Californication name and, somewhat disturbingly, even including a character named Dani California. As for the Californication people, they claim the pride of Fairfax has nothing to do with the show. From the BBC:

Tom Kapinos, the show's creator and executive producer, was unavailable for comment.

In July, he told reporters that he first heard the term "Californication" in the state of Oregon.

"Apparently in the 70s there were bumper stickers that said 'Don't Californicate Oregon', because Californians were coming up there, and I just thought it was a great, great title for this show," he said.

Can't we all just appropriate West Coast stereotypes and get along?

Not To Mention The Hypotenuse...

Who Loves The Kwik-E-Mart?

I love the Kwik-E-Mart! In what is an unusual, and rather cool, marketing move, several 7-Eleven's throughout the country (OK and Canada, too) are remodeling and presenting themselves as Kwik-E-Marts, the animated, fictional convenience store frequented by Homer (for slushies), Bart and Milhouse (for slushies) and Nelson (for shoplifting). Very intriguing is the fact that The Simpsons ddid not have to pay for this - 7-Eleven is doing the campaign for nothing. It's all to promote the upcoming Simpsons full length film, out later this month. Thank you come again, etc.

There's a fine line where business meets pleasure and reality meets fiction. And one North American chain has managed to bridge both gaps. By now you know that after almost 20 years on TV, the folks behind The Simpsons are finally coming out with a feature length movie. And you've likely also heard that 7-Eleven, the convenience store chain located right across the continent, has decided to convert a dozen of its stores into the cartoon's "Kwik-E-Mart," run by Apu Nahasapeemapetilon.

Those stores were finally unveiled over the weekend, and feature huge cut-outs of Bart and Milhouse sitting on top of the building with a sign that mimics the chain's trademark colour scheme but reads "Kwik-E-Mart".  Other characters are represented inside. And products from the show, ranging from Squishees and Buzz Colas to Krusty-O's, are on sale even in outlets not taking part in the conversion.

All of which is putting smiles on the movie marketers' faces - they're not paying a cent for the promotion which is being borne completely by 7-Eleven. Company officials estimate they're shelling out "millions" for the makeshift renovations. But the chain believes it's worth the money. "We thought if you really want to do something different, the idea of actually changing stores into Kwik-E-Marts was over the top but a natural," explains Bobbi Merkel of FreshWorks, which handles advertising for the convenience stores. "It shows they get the joke."

So THAT's Where Kirk Cameron Went...

For children of the 80s, there was no cooler teenager than Mike Seaver, the studly oldest child of Jason and Maggie Seaver on Growing Pains. (In fact, Mike Seaver's status lives on today as Growing Pains is on Nick At Nite.) After such a star-making role, one would have expected Kirk Cameron to graduate to Hollywood royalty. Of course, this never happened. And if you've wondered why, Kirk would tell you it's because he became a Christian. Faced with more free time than he expeceted, Cameron now operates and appears in and on a netowkr of Christian websites, webcasts and radio and TV shows. WWBD (What would Boner do?):

At the height of his Hollywood success, former "Growing Pains" sitcom star Kirk Cameron started worrying about something his money couldn't buy: salvation.

He had more than just legions of fanatic fans. He also had stalkers and kidnapping threats, and was sometimes driven to the set in a bulletproof car. It got him thinking about his own mortality. He had it all, but still felt empty.

Kirk Cameron reaches a new audience these days through his Christian radio show, television show, and Web site.

"I was raised not going to church. We never prayed — didn't know how. Are you supposed to close your eyes, keep them open? Look up? Look down? Get on my knees? What do I do?"

Cameron started reading the bible and going to church. He became a Christian, but says his transition had some growing pains of its own.

On the set of his hit show, the easy-going prankster became detached and sullen. Once close to the other cast members, he pulled away from them all — except his co-star and fellow Christian, Chelsea Noble, whom he married in 1991.

He also started taking issue with some of the show's writing. One script called for his TV mom to have a nightmare in which Cameron's character, Mike Seaver, wakes up next to a beautiful girl and says, "Hey, babe. Good morning. By the way, what's your name again?"

Cameron balked, pushing for the writers to change the scene. They refused. Cameron says he wasn't trying to push his religious views on the show. He just didn't want to compromise his newfound moral principles.

America's Million Dollar Smile

When you've got something great, you want to insure it. Keith Richards knew to insure his fingers, Dolly Parton knew to insure her breasts and (it's rumored) David Lee Roth knew to insure his weiner. America Ferrera, TV's Ugly Betty, has a heck of a smile. And though she isn't so vain as to think to insure her smile, Aquafresh is! The toothpaste company is ponying up the pound sterling for a policy from famed U.K. insurer Lloyd's Of London - it's all to raise awareness for charity. And their product.

The star of hit U.S. television series Ugly Betty has had her smile insured for $10-million (U.S.) by Lloyd's.

Lloyd's said the policy for America Ferrera - who plays dorky, braces-wearing assistant Betty Suarez in the show - was bought by home teeth-whitening product Aquafresh White Trays as part of a promotion to raise money for U.S. charity Smiles for Success.

"It's very flattering to have my smile insured for $10-million, it's not something that I ever imagined happening," Ferrara, 23, said on the Lloyd's website.

Lloyd's America president Wendy Baker said the group has centuries of experience devising policies for unique risks, and has insured the fingers of guitarist Keith Richards and the legs of Marlene Dietrich.

Photo via.

Bud Bundy Busted

Couldn't let this one pass without a mention: former Married... With Children star David Faustino, portrayer of the snarky, hormone-raged Bud Bundy, was busted for pot.

David Faustino, famous pretty much only for his stint as Bud Bundy on "Married with Children," was arrested in Florida early Saturday morning.

Cops say the former TV star (and one-time wannabe rapper by the name of "D Lil") was drunk and arguing with his estranged wife in the middle of the street. After they arrested him for public drunkeness, cops also say they found a baggie containing about a gram of pot on him.

He was booked and released.

Thank god he had royalties from his epic album "Balistyx" so he could bail himself out of jail.

He Can't Win (Does This Make Him A Loser?)

Poor Kevin Federline. Even when he's poking fun at himself, someone's not happy. Case in point: this past weekend's famed Federline Super Bowl ad for Nationwide Insurance, in which the hardly successful, aspiring rapper (played to perfection by Ferderline) pokes fun at his hip-hop dreams, or more pointedly, his failure in achieving said goals. Pretty funny, and harmless, right? Wrong. Apparently, the fast food industry has got their onion rings up their you-know-what. The National Restaurant Associations (one of my favorite associations, btw) called the ad a "direct insult to the 12.8 million Americans who work in the restaurant industry." Right, like all those peeps at White Castle dreamed of working there and will never move on. fuseblog's final conclusion: people need to chill out and (can't believe I'm saying this) lay off Fed Ex.

Kevin Federline has something to say to those who are offended by an upcoming Super Bowl ad featuring him as a fast-food worker: He's "really sorry."

"The commercial is completely intended for me, making fun of myself and my own situation," the aspiring rapper, 28, told Associated Press Television in a recent interview. "It has nothing to do with anybody in the fast-food industry at all. So, you know, if we've offended anybody, I'm really sorry about that."

National Restaurant Association President and Chief Executive Steven Anderson said last week that the ad amounts to a "strong and direct insult to the 12.8 million Americans who work in the restaurant industry."

Nationwide Mutual Insurance Co.'s 30-second spot shows Federline performing in a glitzy music video. However, the punch line is that he's daydreaming — while cooking french fries at a fast-food joint.

It's a "Saturday Night Live skit on myself. ... Maybe it'll land me some good roles in Hollywood," said Federline, whose debut rap album, Playing With Fire, has had dismal sales since its release last fall.

On Thursday, Federline's attorney confirmed that K-Fed and estranged wife Britney Spears will continue to share custody of their two young sons this month, following the terms of a January custody agreement. Spears filed for divorce from Federline in November after two years of marriage, citing irreconcilable differences.

"I'm a good father," said Federline, who wouldn't talk about his personal life. "I love my kids and I'll always be here for (them)."

Doll Parts

It would have been fascinating. Unmissable. A train wreck. A crazy on one side of the judge's table to balance the crazies on the other side. But alas, it was not meant to be. Courtney Love will NOT be replacing Paula Abdul as a judge on Fox's kinda successful American Idol. Love claims that she was called by Idol exec. producer Nigel Lythgoe. She later denied this. So did he. She then said she could have been the victim of a prank. You mean a victim of a prank in the same way that people who bought Hole records were victims? Sorry.

Courtney Love will not become an "American Idol" judge.

Both Love's publicist and show executive producer Nigel Lythgoe are denying an Us Weekly report that Love would appear on the show. Which is really funny, since it was Love herself who said Lythgoe offered her the gig.

Yes, Courtney has been through rehab and is still supposedly on the wagon. Then again, would Courtney Love really need drugs to contradict herself or utter nonsense? Exactly.

"He called," Love said on Us Weekly's Web site earlier this week. "I thought it was kind of weird, but brilliant.

Yes yes YES, it was. Especially since Paula Abdul isn't acting so goofy anymore.

But apparently, it's not going to happen. Love's publicist said Wednesday it wasn't true, and Lythgoe denied placing the call. Love said Wednesday it's possible she was duped by a prank.

Photo via.

Pants Off Sweetin-er

The rumors are true (I'm not sure there were any rumors, but anyway) - Jodie Sweetin, former star of Full House and recently in the news following a battle with meth, will be the host of our very own Pants Off Dance Off's second season. Wow.

Stereogum's coverage.

Page Six's coverage.

The press release:

Full House Sweetie Sweetin Signs on to Host

fuse’s “Pants-Off Dance-Off”

You know what they say about middle children – they’re always doing something radical to get attention. Now comes news from the fuse front that Jodie Sweetin, the middle child in Bob Sagat’s wholesome Full House brood, is signing on to host three special episodes of the net’s new buzz-worthy offering, Pants-Off Dance-Off. Dubbed “the dumbest show on television” by TV Guide, Pants-Off Dance-Off features music lovers of all ages gyrating down to their skivvies to their favorite videos. We’re hoping that fuse might ask Sweetin to use her connections to get her little TV sisters – Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen – to join in on the freaky fun.

It's Always The Middle Child

Yikes.

Former Full House actress Jodie Sweetin [FRONT AND CENTER IN THE PIC] has made startling admission: she once had a daily methamphetamine habit.

The problems began when Full House ended its run in 1995, the actress told Good Morning America on Wednesday. Seeking a "normal" life, Sweetin attended high school and college, and was married by age 20 – to a Los Angeles policeman. But two years ago, feeling bored and being unemployed, she says she began experimenting with drugs and got hooked on meth.

After a three-day "lost" weekend, reportedly followed by an intervention staged by her former Full House costars Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen, John Stamos and Bob Saget, Sweetin checked herself in to the Promises rehab facility for six weeks of intense treatment.

The Olsens, John Stamos and Bob Saget? That's a heck of an intervention. Kinda makes you wanna do meth. (JUST KIDDING.)

4 8 15 16 23 42

"Lost" has got to be the most arresting, intricately developed, clue-laden, geographically-shaped, supernaturally-tinged one hour drama on ABC since Twin Peaks. It even made the cover of Rolling Stone (oooh)! Naturally, a few sites have sprung up housing all types of review, analysis and conjecture.

The Lost Blog from Filmfodder - Synopses, reviews and a forum.
Lost TV - The "Unofficial" Fansite.
Bullz-Eye blogs - Reviews.
The Official Site - Everything you'd expect.

These sites are perfect for procrastinating. Good luck.

So Long, Little Buddy

Bob Denver, the actor who played goofy island castaway Gilligan in the 1960s television show "Gilligan's Island," has died of complications from cancer treatments, a spokesman for the actor said on Tuesday.

Photo: Reuters

Wonder Who They'll Get To Lead The Investigation?

"Taking a page from Washington, the producers of "American Idol" and Fox TV have hired an independent counsel to determine whether judge Paula Abdul had an affair with a contestant on the hit talent show."

Independent counsel?!?!?

Dreams Really Do Come True

My dreams of Chad Michael Murray and Sophia Bush marrying each other have come true.

Lo-Handed

Looks like the romance between Wilmer Valderrama and Lindsay Lohan is kaput. According to rumors, she dumped Fez for her Freaky Friday co-star Chad Michael Murray. We knew it wouldn't last forever, but we're still surprised and I don't know why. Maybe because it was just a few days ago that we saw the pair on That 70s Show together and we're already feeling nostalgic. Will Fez ever love again?

Putting Six Feet Under

HBO announced today that the upcoming season of Six Feet Under will be the last.

"Everything comes to an end," said series creator Alan Ball.

True, but come on, it hasn't even started to suck yet. So soon on HBO, no more Six Feet Under, we have to wait a decade until the next season of Sopranos. Well at least Entourage doesn't suck.

Caught in the Crossfire

It was hosts Tucker Carlson and Paul Begala caught in their own "Crossfire" last weekend when "Daily Show" host Jon Stewart was a guest.

Stewart lambasted Carlson in particular and the show's format in general, charging that shows such as "Crossfire" are actually hurting America by acting as a platform for highly partisan politicians. The entire exchange was bizarre, but way more exciting than any episode of "Crossfire" I've ever seen.

Well the incident has generated so much buzz and so much interest that the Internet is struggling to keep up with the many requests to watch the heated exchange.

You gotta love someone who has the b@lls to go one someone else's show and call them a "dick" to their face, especially if that person if the bowtie-wearing neo-Conservative Tucker Carlson.

Watch Stewart in action here.

F.A.N. Fan

One of my favorite shows on Fuse, or at least Fuse Internets, is the Fuse Action News. Every week, hosts Steven and Conrad scour the globe to bring viewers the most topical, relevant, informative fake news that you'll find on the world wide of web. Delivered fresh and piping hot every Friday on www.fuse.tv, if you're not a F.A.N. fan, you're missing out on things like this latest tidbit of news regarding Madonna...

"Egyptian politicians have moved to bar pop goddess Madonna from entering their country because of her recent visit to Israel and her devotion to Kabbalah. Madonna has countered by barring Egypt from entering her vagina."

So get with the program and check out the last few episodes of Fuse Action News.
Oct. 8 - Oct. 1 - Sept. 24 - Sept. 18

Bart Bids Adieu?

2009 looks like it might be bad year for both Jay Leno fans (are there any?) and fans of The Simpsons.

That's right, creator Matt Groenig says it's getting harder and harder to come up with storylines and that he only wants to do one more year after his contract runs out in 2008. Groenig wants to get to 365 episodes so there's one for every day of the year with no repeats.

The announcement is bad new for fans of what has become the most consistently funny, well-written half-hour on television. Guess I was one of those people that just thought we'd always have The Simpsons to look forward to.

Our Hosts are Hotter Than Yours

Gotta love it when fantasy becomes reality, and one of mine is currently on display in the pages of Maxim. Fuse's Daily Download host Marianela and the Mistress of Metal, Uranium's Juliya, are featured together in provocatively playful poses in their best black lingerie. Insider secret...the riding crop comes from Juliya's personal collection.

As if a nearly naked Marianela and Juliya weren't enough, the dynamic duo is also featured in Fuse's all-new late-night block of programming that's a little more sexy and sinful than what you'll see the rest of the day on Fuse. When the sun goes down, so do we.

It kicks off tonight (Oct. 4) at midnight ET with d'Fused: The Fuse Girls, which takes viewers behind-the-scenes of the Maxim photo shoot and catches all the girl-on-girl action that didn't make it to the pages of the magazine.

Marianela and Juliya are back together again at 12:30 am ET weeknights as hosts of After Party, an hour-long recap of the week's hottest rap, rock and metal videos.

The party continues Tuesday (Oct. 5) at midnight with d'Fused: Authentic Hip Hop Artists. Marianela hosts this inside look at hip hop's heavy hitters which are reshaping popular music and culture.

Juliya clues viewers into what's scorching (besides her) in d'Fused: Hottest Rising Stars, premiering Wed. (Oct. 6) at midnight ET. Keep you "rising" puns to yourself, by the way.

And since we love you, here's a lttle bonus Marianela from the pages of FHM.

Same Sex in the City

The news hit this week that Sex in the City star Cynthia Nixon is currently involved in a lesbian relationship, but this is the first chance we've had to get a look at her new partner. No offense, but they sort of look like cousins. No lipstick lesbians for Nixon.

Jaywalking Out the Door

One of my wishes has been granted and Jay Lemo is finally on his way out the door at The Tonight Show and Conan O'Brien's taking over...five years from now.

That's right, NBC announced today that Conan O'Brien has been picked to inherit the reigns of The Tonight Show, but the switch won't happen until 2009. Guess Leno thinks he still has some years left in him.

As long as Triumph, the insult comic dog, comes with Conan, I'm all for the change.

I Like You, You Like Me?

Since the Ali G DVD doesn't include any love from Borat, I figured I'd spread a little goodness from Kazakhstani television's top media personality.

First, stop on by cringehumor.net for the Borat soundboard, where you can hear audio samples of some of Borat's best lines, including, "My sister is a prostitute,"When do we have sexy intercourse?" and the question that haunts us all, "Is Freddy Mercury homosexual?"

If you just need more Borat, check out the unofficial Borat homepage, where you can view Borat's controversial music video for, "In My Country..."

Motley Crude

Their music may suck now, but their lives are enough of a trainwreck that they now qualify for reality TV status. Former Motley Crue members Tommy Lee and Vince Neil are gearing up for separate reality TV shows set to hit the small screen next season.

Lee recently inked a deal with NBC for a reality show that features him going back to college. The name of the show and premiere date is yet to be announced, aas is the name of the university that Lee will be attending.

Neil will star in the MTV reality show, "Thge Remaking of Vince Neil," which will document Neil's attempt at a comeback with help from a team of makeover artists.

As we've said before in Fuseblog, celebrities should never fear when their career goes down the toilet...there's always reality TV.

Gene and the Queens

If the Queer Eye for the Straight Guy crew get their way, they'll be making over Kiss bassist Gene Simmons in an upcoming episode. According to Simmons' website, the producers of the show have contacted him about an appearance and he is mulling over the offer now.

I'm sure Carson ccan't wait to get a hold of that tongue.

Teen Queen

Actress, singer and general minx Lindsay Lohan won four awards at last night's Teen Choice Awards, which is noteworthy only in the opportunity it provides to post a Lindsay Lohan pic.

In case you're wondering, Lindsay picked up awards for, "Best Actress," "Best Hissy Fit," "Best Blush" and "Best Breakout Actress."

Speaking of Lindsay, when is she going to dump that Wilmer Valderrrama guy? Not that I really care, but Fez? Seems like the "It" girl of the moment could do better.

And speaking of lame boyfriends (or former boyfriends), What was Nickelodeon thinking by allowing Paris Hilton and Nicole Ritchie to host the Teen Choice Awards? "Mommy, when I grow up can I make a sex tape and snort heroin? I just want to be famous."

iParody

Apple is mad at us for our new ad campaign. If you're looking for an official response, you're not going to get it from me, but you can read more about it today on Gizmodo or read the NY Post story with the headline I can't help but like...Apple Blows Fuse Over Ads, which could be taken one of two ways. Any guess on which inference we prefer?

Cheese, Please

The chance you've been waiting for is finally here...now YOU can own KITT (Knight Industry Two Thousand), the tricked-out Trans-Am that was so cool, it needed its own TV series, Knight Rider. The car was the star, but every once in a while, David Hasselhoff made an appearance (way before he felt compelled to run around the beach sporting a speedo and chest hair.)

The car is supposedly one of the ones used in the show, with all the dials, switches and bad special effects gauges and readouts working perfectly. It even has the original stamped steel KNIGHT license plate.

In case you're interested, the starting bid is $40,000, or about the equivalent of a year's worth of Hasselhoff record sales in Germany.

Newlyweds No More

Somebody is probably sad today at the news that the honeymoon's over...that's right, according to Us magazine, this will be the last season of Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey's reality show, Newlyweds.

Why, do you ask? Well, first of all, since they've been married about two years, they aren't really newlyweds anymore. Secondly, they've already milked the show for all that it's worth. Think about it...would Nick and Jessica be getting film and TV roles, sponsorship deals and all the other stuff based solely on their singing careers? Not a chance.

Actually, ol' Jessica might be smarter than anyone thinks...get out while you can! No need to overstay your welcome like the Osbournes and go from parody to pathetic.

Leave Well Enough Alone

Instead of walking off into the sunset as a well-remembered, well-respected band, INXS has decided to become the latest victim of TV producer Mark Burnett (Survivor, The Apprentice) in the upcoming reality show, Rock Star. You knew it was just a matter of time before someone tried to combine American Idol with Survivor, right?

Yeah, that's right...the band is looking for a replacement for the deceased Michael Hutchence and decided that a reality show was the best way to go about it. What better way to celebrate his memory than a cheap promotional stunt? Woo Hoo!

Hey, if we're lucky, the show will be just as realistic, just as gripping as the movie with the same name starring Mark Wahlberg and a bad hair weave.

Too Fat to Fall in Love

If Jessica Simpson and Ashton Kutcher can do it, why can't I?

The MTV reality show bandwagon is officially rolling and there's no shortage of celebrities waiting to jump on it. Word is out today that Cameron Diaz, Frankie Muniz, Jay-Z, Wilmer Valderrama and P. Diddy sidekick Fonsworth Bentley are all developing reality shows for MTV.

Cameron Diaz and Jay-Z...maybe, but Frankie Muniz and Wilmer Valderrama? What's the show going to be called, "My Rapidly Fading Celebrity Life?"

But the one that makes me laugh the most? MTV is developing a reality show starring bloated Motley Crue frontman/amateur pornstar/drunk-driving killer Vince Neil, who will undergo a complete physical and lifestyle makeover in hopes of launching a comeback and possibly reuniting with his old bandmates. Maybe it will go head-to-head with O.J.'s new reality show in a battle of the "I got away with murder" guys?

Guess I shouldn't be surprised since the new celebrity mantra these days seems to be, "If I can't resurrect my failing career legitimately, I can always humiliate myself on reality TV."

Maybe fame is the strongest drug because those who've had it just can't seem to stay away.

Where the hell was K.I.T.T.?

That's the thing with robotic cars that speak, drive themselves and fight bad guys...they're never around when you need them. Like when you're stumbling home drunk, as the Knight Rider himself apparently was this weekend.

Instead of ringing up his trusty steed, that broadcasting enigma and German music superstar, who by now should simply go by the name Hasselhoff, was arrested this weekend for suspicion of driving under the influence.

Hasselhoff's chest hair faces a separate charge for overabundance and excessive curliness.

Alex P. Keaton Wouldn't Approve

Remember this little pixie-faced kid from Family Ties? (if you are even old enough to remember Family Ties) It's Brian Bonsall, who played Michael J. Fox's kid brother. Well he's not a little kid anymore, especially according to authorities in Boulder, Colorado, who busted him for drunk driving this week.

It was last Friday at 2 pm (an afternoon drinker, eh?) when police watched him pull his SUV over to the side of the road so his passenger could throw up out the window. Nice. When he pulled back into traffic, police pulled him over. When police asked him how much he had been drinking, he supposedly replied, "half a pint of Jim Bean." Very nice.

The report said Bonsall dabbled as a punk rocker after Family Ties. Hmmm, must have missed that one.

In related former-child-stars-are-really-screwed-up news, police in Glendale, Calif. busted former Home Improvement child star Zachary Ty Bryan for drunk driving this week as well. Hey at least his former co-star Tim Allen has some prison connections for him in case he ends up going to jail.

Marianela Rocks!

Marianela, hosts of FUSE's daily IMX show (weekdays at 6PM ET), has a new personal site up, so check it out (and not just because of pics like the one here). She has a ton of stuff for fans including wallpapers, buddy icons, banners, photo galleries, message boards, interviews by fans, for fans and more, more more!

Marianela facts from her bio: Her parents used to be professional tango dancers, just because she's hot doesn't mean she ain't smart (top of academic class in both high school and college), and my personal favorite - she loves sports and ESPN.

Get all the Marianela you can handle at www.marianela.tv

The One Where It Ends

So over 51 million people watched the end of Friends last night and already critics are whining about how bad the episode was. Uh, didn't they ever notice that the series was always charmingly cheesy and was never a bastion of artistic creativity or originality, so why did they think the final episode would be any different? If Ross and Rachel hadn't gottent together in the end, the same critics would be whining about what a travesty it was and a disappointment to viewers.

It is what it is and now it's over.

Light FUSE In-Flight

The best reason to fly Song, Delta's new low-cost airlines? You get to watch FUSE while you're sitting on your a** in your seat!

That's right, every Song seat has its own video screen that lets you watch TV from the Dish Network, including FUSE.

Noticeably absent...that other "music video" channel...coming soon to a Pan-Am or Eastern flight near you!

WB Gets Serious

The WB (yes, that WB) Network has just announced plans to develop a biopic about the life of Kurt Cobain. The movie will most likely air next season and will trace Cobain's life from his childhood to his unfortunate end.

Don't expect a raw, uncensored look at his life and times from the squeaky-clean WB, however. Producers are billing it as a cautionary tale complete with public service announcements and the like. Despite this, they are promising it won't be too "preachy."

Ugh.

Ok, so now maybe the thought of the Beastie Boys on The OC isn't all that bad.

Can you say "Train Wreck?"

UPDATE: Turned on my TV last night and saw nothing but Bush, but the bizarre factor was the same.

In probably one of the most bizarre instances of self/cross-promotion I've ever encountered, I'll be glued to the television tonight watching Quentin Tarantino as a guest judge on American Idol. Someone has a really sick sense of humor to make this happen.

I certainly don't expect the usual pleasantries you get from all the other celebrity judges about how nice the performance was, what a great effort was put forth, yadda, yadda, yadda.

Instead, if Quentin doesn't like someone, I'm fully expecting to see Uma Thurman pop out from backstage and slice up the unsuspecting schmaltz pushers into tiny little bits ... now that's the America I idolize!

Real Britney

Britney Spears could soon be joining the ranks of Jessica Simpson and Donald Trump as celebrities-turned-reality-show-subjects. Was there ever any reality in reality TV anyway?

The show, named OnTourage, is being pitched as a cross between The Real World and Madonna's concert doc Truth or Dare and will follow Spears and her dancers as they writhe their way across stages in Europe during her current tour.

No word on if Kevin Costner wil show up backstage and look like an ass.

Still Hung!

The William Hung experience rolls on after last night's FUSE world premiere of his music video for "She Bangs."

If you missed the vid, you can see it today on IMX (6PM ET), or catch it as part of the encores of Idol Worship: The Will Hung Story, the docu-special which takes a behind-the-scenes look at the making of the video and the rise of the "accidental superstar."

For all the details on tune-in times, audio and video clips, wallpapers, screensavers and more, check out the William Hung feature on fuse.tv.

If you want to see William shake it live, don't miss IMX this Friday (6PM ET) when he visits the studio to perform a few songs off his Inspiration CD.

Now that all that's out of the way, let's get to what we really want to know...Did you see the special and the video last night? What did you think? Who'd win a barfight between William and Clay Aiken? What are the chances of even seeing either one of them in a bar?

Letterman vs. Bush

Move over Star Wars Kid, there's a new kid in town...

In the "Don't they have anything better to do?" department, the White House and late-night talker David Letterman are in the middle of a flap concerning a video segment Dave aired Monday night entitled, "George W. Bush: Invigorating America's Youth."

The clip features a kid at a Bush speech who would obviously rather be anywhere than listening to Dubya.

See it for yourself here ,then try and stop laughing long enough to keep reading.

But that was only the beginning of a bizarre sequence of events that has pitted Letterman against the White House with CNN stuck in the middle.

Seems CNN was amused as well and aired the clip during the day on Tuesday. Almost immediately afterwards, CNN came back on air and told viewers they had received a call directly from the White House saying the kid was never there and Letterman and company edited him in. Later in the afternoon, they ran the clip again and then said they had received another call from the White House that said the kid WAS at the rally, but was NOT standing behind the President as shown in the video.

But the plot thickens ... On Tuesday night's show, Letterman got a note from staff members telling him that CNN now said that they NEVER got a call from the White House about the clip. The story gets stranger on Wednesday as CNN called Letterman back YET AGAIN and told him that yes, the White House DID call them and attempt to get them to pull the clip.

See the full story here.

So, who do you believe, Letterman or the White House? All the spinning makes my head spin.