PIG FOUND

You can stop looking now and get back on your computers - they found the pig. The fat capitalist pig, property of Roger Waters, flew away during Waters' Coachella-closing set on Sunday evening after the pig (not a tiger) broke free during the apropos political lament Leaving Beirut. At some point, the pig split in two before plummeting to earth in death throes, a fall made all the more ironic by landing in a golf club residence. Whither compassionate socialism? Dying a death on the back nine?

The remains were found by two families: the Stoltzes and the Rimmers. They seem nice.