fuseblog

An Epic Battle Of Apathy

Surely there are "hipsters" in your town? And surely they are ironic?

The Perfect MP3 Sound

Yes, that could be an oxymoron, but someone has purported to have found the perfect iTunes equalizer settings - settings that will make all of your mp3s positively pop with wonder. Does it work? Try it. 43folders.com, via Idolator. UPDATE: Yes, it works. Astonishingly well.

Baby Boy K-Snitch

Life goes on in the world of Britney Spears. First, reports come in that Our Brit is being investigated  regarding allegations of child abuse:

It is suggested the LA County Department Of Children And Family Services (DCFS) is looking at allegations of poor dental hygiene, eating and sleeping.

The authority is said to be "conducting an active investigation" though there is no suggestion of physical harm.

Who's behind the investigation? No surprise here:

The website states: "Curiously, although the DCFS keeps these allegations secret, they ended up in legal papers filed today by K-Fed's attorney, Mark Vincent Kaplan, suggesting it might have been Fed-Ex himself who lodged the complaint."

All of which may explain the tenor of a new Britney tune which has leaked. Though still a demo, the track signals a change to a more sullen demeanor, and the lyrics barely disguise the subject. Apparently:

"Everyday I'm in a daze, looking for that someone "And everyday, I sit and kneel and pray "Oh, sweet love, can I get some? "So why do you desert me, baby boy? "I thought that you were the one"

Then in the middle of the song and Britney is heard on the phone talking to her 'baby boy'. She asks: "Hey baby, what time you gonna get home?"

The lovelorn ballad ends with the lines:

"So why did you desert me, baby boy? "I thought that you, you were the one." "So if you preferred the other one, "She won't bring you the sun."

Pic via the Daily Mail.

Dogz Maybe X-terminated?

Dudes and Dudettes, what is up with celebs and dogs? And poor treatment of dogs? No, not Michael Vick, but rather traffic-violation-hampered DMX, whose desert abode was recently raided amid suspicions of animal maltreatment. The rapper claims to be horrified. What a shame, too - it was the Year Of the Dog... Again. From ABC News:

Sheriff's deputies raided the home of rapper DMX on Friday, seizing several pit bulls and finding the remains of three other dogs but making no arrests.

The Maricopa County Sheriff's Office received a tip more than a week ago about dogs being kept in inhumane conditions at the Phoenix-area home, said Sheriff Joe Arpaio.

Detectives visited the home and then called one of the rapper's lawyers and told him that the conditions for the animals at the property needed to be improved or deputies would take action, Arpaio said. The dogs were not being fed or given water.

Simmons' lawyer, Murray Richman, said Simmons hasn't been in Arizona for at least two months and was "extremely disturbed" to hear the animals weren't being cared for properly.

"We had a caretaker that wasn't taking care, that's what happened," Richman said. "He loves dogs he loves these animals. Those dogs are practically his family."

Alex Trebek is NSFW

Or SFS (school) - but he IS very safe for, um, laughing. Here are some outtakes from the set of Jeopardy. If you've ever wanted to see Alex Trebek use bad language, well, this is your lucky day.

Gorge Warped War!

Can't we all just get along? Blabbermouth, via Idolator:

According to The Associated Press, police arrested five people after concertgoers burned portable toilets and threw rocks and debris following a Vans Warped 2007 show at The Gorge Amphitheater in Washington.

Grant County deputies providing security at the Saturday night (August 18) concert — which featured performances by AS I LAY DYING, BAD RELIGION, KILLSWITCH ENGAGE, MAYLENE AND THE SONS OF DISASTER, POISON THE WELL, STILL REMAINS, THE CONFESSION and THROWDOWN, among others — responded to a call that a person was injured in a neighboring campground early Sunday morning. When they arrived, several campers were involved in fights and a so-called "comfort station" with portable toilets and sinks was in flames, said John Turley, chief criminal deputy for the Grant County Sheriff's Office.

About 400 campers were gathered around the area. Some pelted deputies with beer bottles, cans and rocks, and the windshield of a fire truck was shattered by debris.

More fires were set by the crowd after authorities extinguished the first blaze and left the area in a hail of debris.

At Least It Wasn't The Wham! Rap

Hardly a Careless Whisper - the cops fined a Liverpool man for blasting a single Wham! song - at top volume - for three hours. From Undercover.com.au:

A British Wham! fan has been silenced by the local council in a suburb of the British city of Liverpool.

Brian Turner has been fined £200 and ordered to pay £215 in costs, as well as having had his stereo confiscated after a three hour session of Wham!'s song 'Last Christmas' at full volume.

A neighbour called the council's noise squad, who for the first time in their career probably actually really enjoyed their work.

Turner will have to think twice the next time he wants to subject the world to Wham!

Uncle Kracker Kracked

Say it ain't so. Uncle Kracker, the erstwhile Kid Rock DJ who became a star in his own right has been charged with committing of forcing a sexual act on a woman at a club in Raleigh, NC. Uncle Kracker, whose real name is Matthew Shaffer, denies the charge and has spoken out, claiming he is incapable of such an act. That may be true, but can a person who calls himself Uncle Kracker be trusted? Thankfully, the law turns a blind eye to names (so far, at least). Starpulse Newsblog:

DJ Uncle Kracker has hit out at allegations he forced himself on a woman in a nightclub last week, insisting he's "saddened" people believe it.

Kracker - real name Matthew Shafer - was arrested by police in an Embassy Suites hotel in Raleigh, North Carolina, early on Friday after a 26-year-old female approached an off-duty police officer in a nightclub and claimed Shafer "had committed a sexual act against her while she was inside the establishment."

But Kid Rock's former collaborator maintains the charge is ridiculous, telling People.com, "It's regrettable that someone would make this kind of allegation, not only because it's not the kind of thing I'd do, as the father of three girls, it's the kind of thing that I wouldn't stand for.

"Anyone can say anything about anybody but it doesn't make it true or correct. This is one of those cases. I'm saddened that anyone might think I'm capable of this sort of thing."

Lily Allen Not In U.S., In U.S.

First came reports yesterday that Lily Allen had had her U.S. visa revoked and had been banned form entering the country. Then we find out that was all "rubbish". Either way, Lily Allen rules.

On Sunday: "She was detained for five hours but not strip-searched. Understandably she was upset by it."

On Monday: "Lily Allen's manager has responded to reports that the star has been denied a U.S. visa, calling these reports "rubbish."

And the Cradle Might Rock

Cradle... or retirement home. The on-again, off-again Van Halen reunion tour is rumored to be back on again. If you'll recall, the rock n' roll stars seemed to be aligning last winter; a David Lee Roth-fronted tour was imminent. Imminent, that is, until Eddie Van Halen entered rehab in March. As a reminder, Michael Anthony and his sweet backing vocals has been replaced on bass by Eddie's freakin' teenage son Wolfgang on bass. Doesn't Eddie (on the right) look funny in this photo? Like an axe-wielding hobo. From Billboard:

Sources say a Hollywood press conference in one week will announce a 50-date American arena tour by Van Halen to begin in early October. The tour will feature founding Van Halen members David Lee Roth, Eddie Van Halen and Alex Van Halen, with Eddie's son Wolfgang on bass.

Van Halen last toured in 2004 with vocalist Sammy Hagar, grossing nearly $40 million, according to Billboard Boxscore. Roth has not fronted the band on tour in more than 20 years.

Lindsay Lohan At Sundance

...A rehab center in Sundance, Utah, that is! The ever-distressed star of marginally successful films has entered her third posh rehab clinic in a year. Like Wonderland Center in Los Angeles and Promises in Malibu, Cirque Lodge preaches the restorative benefits of a twelve-step program. Including the Wonderland Center and Promises and her three recent run-in's with the police, Lindsay Lohan is only a combined sum of six rehab stints or arrests from completing this unique twelve-step program. Congrats, Lindsay. From ABC News:

Patients who are wealthy enough to cough up around $30,000 for an average 30-day stay at the lodge — which is actually considerably cheaper than its counterparts — may be pleasantly surprised to discover the wide variety of available activities. Patients can embark on hikes on the nearby mountains, horseback rides, and trust exercises on the world's largest indoor ropes course.

Past celebrity patients have included Mary-Kate Olsen and "Baywatch" star David Hasselhoff, according to The Insider.

In addition to the outdoor activities, its Web site boasts of plush bedding in available private rooms, as well as breathtaking views and a state-of-the-art dining room with floor-to-ceiling windows.

Breaking: Marilyn Manson Is Weird and Rich

Nothing says rock n' roll like a lawsuit about hidden profits, skeletons and Hitler. Former Marilyn Manson member Madonna Wayne Gacy (the former Stephen Bier) has sued the former Brian Warner for $20 million gothbucks, claiming that Mr. Evan Rachel Wood lied about the band's financial standing, thereby depriving Gacy of said dough. Least surprising revelation? That Marilyn Manson owns a skeleton. Even less surprising? The skeleton is of a four year old kid. From the USA Today:

Bier says he began to think differently several years ago when Manson, whose real name is Brian Warner, went on a spending binge. He claims Manson owes him at least $20 million in shared profits.

From 2004 to 2006, the suit claims, Manson used band money to buy a $2 million home, collect Nazi paraphernalia and to give his fiancee at the time a handbag once owned by Eva Braun.

Manson also bought "African masks made of human skin, the full skeleton of a 4-year-old Chinese girl, and the full skeleton of a 17th-century male in a wheelchair," the suit claims.

In addition, the suit claims Manson spent band money on personal drug treatment, a low-budget movie production, a Los Angeles gallery to display his artwork and about $450,000 for an engagement ring and his wedding to burlesque performer Dita Von Teese. She has since filed for divorce.

How Many Band Names Do You See?

Pretty sure this has been on the fuseblog before, but who cares - this thing rules. Apparently made by Virgin, this graphic is loaded with visual representations of band names. Like, say, Guns n' Roses... or Smashing Pumpkins... or Led Zeppelin... If you are looking to waste time, this is a wonderful way to do it... Click image for a larger view.

Statement of the Year?

"You don’t go grabbin’ somebody’s husband’s balls, you understand me? That’s very disrespectful."
- Faith Hill, to a fan of her husband, Tim McGraw

Hey Britney, You Just Got Divorced... What Are You Gonna Do Now?

She's gonna go to Disney World. No kidding - now that the divorce has been finalized, Britney Spears want to take Kevin Federline and the two unfortunate little ones to Disney World to show just how wonderful and thoughtful a mother she is. Why not Disneyland? It's pretty much in LA, they wouldn't have to go anywhere. That would be the smart thing to do. Of course, "smart" is relative in a situation where a freshly-divorced couple is thinking of going on a family vacation to Disney World. From stuff.co.nz:

Britney Spears is reportedly planning to take ex-husband Kevin Federline to Disney World to celebrate their divorce.

The Toxic singer - whose divorce from Kevin was finalised on Monday - wants to whisk him and their two children, 22-month-old Sean Preston and 10-month-old Jayden James, off to the Florida resort. Although the couple are now officially divorced, custody arrangements for the two boys are yet to finalised. Britney is keen to be the primary carer and sees the holiday as the perfect opportunity to show Kevin that she is a good parent. A source said: "Britney loves Disney and thinks it's the perfect place for her and Kevin to show the children they are still a family. "They are sharing custody at the moment, but Britney would love to get full custody but needs to win Kevin over."

The pair, who split last November after a two-year marriage, have rowed [ED: this means "argued" in non-American] constantly over the care of their two sons.

Kevin, who has two other children from a previous relationship, previously claimed the 25-year-old pop star - who recently completed a stint in rehab for alcoholism - was too unstable to be a full-time mother.

Madden 2008

It's official - Nicole Richie and Joel Madden are going to be (gulp) parents. Richie, stating the obvious, notes that her life will slow down. In other good news, Nicole is looking forward to getting her jail sentence out of the way. Pray for this child. No word on what Tuesday (if indeed on a Tuesday) it will drop. From Teen People Forbes:

After months of rumors, Richie tells ABC News' Diane Sawyer for an interview to air this week that she is almost four months' pregnant and that her boyfriend, Good Charlotte frontman Joel Madden, is the father.

"Yes I am. We are," she tells ABC, which issued a news release about the interview.

In the latest issue of OK! magazine, on newsstands Wednesday, Richie says she is feeling "healthy and happy" and her life "is clearly going to slow down."

"I will be really happy once I have done my jail time," the 25-year-old star of TV's "The Simple Life" and on-again pal of Paris Hilton says. "I can start fresh."

Pic via E.