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The Britney Spears Machine rolls on. It's all Britney Spears, all the Britney Spears freakin time.The sometime blond bombshell has been all over the place in the past week; it's like it's 1999 all over again (or 2002, or 2005, or...)!

Since dumping Fed-Ex she has been taking it to the streets, hanging with new BFF Paris Hilton and being a silent observer to the recent Paris / Lindsay Lohan battle royale. Which, if you're following, has now ended in tears - Lindsay's tears. Lindsay was kicked out of a Paris party the other night and branded Firecrotch by Paris, who continues to display her knack for press as well as branding nomenclature.

The quick recap - last weekend Britney, Paris and Lindsay went out. Later, in a parking garage, Lindsay told the assembled press that Paris had hit her (the bitch). Soon after, the three were seen stepping out into the Lynch-ian LA night as if nothing had happened. The peace hardly lasted - the 'firecrotch' hubbub went down three days later.

In the subsequent days, Britney ambled out frequently, making trips to the drugstore and feeling a draft on her panty-less jaunts:

In less than a week, cameras have captured Britney Spears' nether regions on four separate occasions.

On Nov. 22, the recently separated mother of two wore a leopard-print minidress so short it revealed her underwear.

Two days later, Spears was photographed getting out of a car in a hiked-up miniskirt. This time, her underwear was nowhere to be found.

On Nov. 26, Spears gave the world another glimpse of her privates — particularly her bare backside.

Her latest offense occurred on Nov. 28. Again, Spears was sitting in a car, dress hiked up, her groin exposed to the paparazzi's lens.

Where all of this recklessness leave Brit? Apparently, too tired to co-host - with Paris, natch - the 2006 Billboard Music Awards in Paris.

UPDATE: Paris is spending New Year's in Australia, and also called Britney an animal.

Tagged as: Current Affairs

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Hey Did You Hear...

Posted on November 29, 2006 at 01:32 PM

Tom Cruise got married to Katie Holmes.

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Snoop Snupped (Again)

Posted on November 29, 2006 at 12:13 PM

In completely unexpected news, rapper/actor/arrestee Snoop Dogg was arrested in Burbank, CA yesterday following an appearance on The Tonight Show. Shockingly, Snoop's car was discovered to have marijuana and weaponry aboard.

Snoop Dogg and two members of his entourage were arrested Tuesday on suspicion of illegally possessing a handgun and drugs following the rapper's performance on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno in Burbank, Calif., say police.

Police spokesman Sgt. Kevin Grandalski said the rapper (real name: Calvin Broadus), 35, was arrested at 6 p.m. for investigation of being a convicted felon in possession of a firearm, possessing cocaine, transporting marijuana and having a false compartment in his vehicle. The bust followed a search of his Diamond Bar, Calif., home and his car, Grandalski said.

Meanwhile, Jay Leno is free to broadcast his tolerable brand of middle class fluff. WHERE IS THE JUSTICE?

Photo: sema.org

Tagged as: Current Affairs

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Live And Let Die

Posted on November 28, 2006 at 12:00 PM

Not sure if it's paradise, but it's trouble in something: Eagles Of Death Metal have been kicked off the Guns n' Roses tour. The off-kicking occured during a show at Ohio's (ahem) Quicken Loans Arena. When I think of 40-somethings that need a loan, I think of Guns n' Roses, and the Quicken Loans Arena.

The Eagles Of Death Metal took the stage and, according to John Soeder writer for the Cleveland Plain Dealer, the band were met with : "not deafening boos, but lots of grumbling and grousing and...indifference".

According to MTV, at the start of Guns n' Roses slot, Rose came out on stage and said :"So how'd you like the Pigeons Of Shit Metal? Don't worry, that's the last show they're playing with us."

Not surprisingly, the EODM have the witty, final word. They released this statement yesterday:

"At first the audience refused to welcome us to the jungle, but by the time we took our final bow, it had become paradise city. Although Axl tried to November rain on our parade, no sweet child o' mine can derail the EODM night train. We say live and let die."

AND IN OTHER AXL NEWS:

The GUNS N' ROSES concert scheduled for Milwaukee's Bradley Center tonight (Tuesday, November 28) has been cancelled due to illness. GUNS N' ROSES frontman Axl Rose is suffering from an ear infection and strep throat, according to a press release. Rose was first diagnosed with the ear infection on November 20 in Halifax, Nova Scotia. He was seen again by a doctor last night following the band's show in Chicago and ordered to rest for a few days. The tour will continue as scheduled Friday night (December 1) in Ames, Iowa at Hilton Coliseum.

Axl Rose commented, "We had a great show in Chicago tonight and had hoped to do a surprise acoustic show afterwards. I have been fighting this off for a long time but the doctor told me tonight that the only way not to jeopardise the balance of the tour is immediate rest. We will now have three days off before continuing Friday. We are sorry to miss the fans in Milwaukee."

Tagged as: Music

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Couples - What Will They Think Of Next?

Posted on November 28, 2006 at 09:24 AM

"Impossible": Pamela Anderson and Kid Rock are divorcing after three months of marriage.

"Good Times": John Mayer and Jessica Simpson - possible Wonderland territory?

"Bitch": Lindsay Lohan claims Paris Hilton hit her, then doesn't seem to care, then hangs with Paris and Britney.

Photo of Pamela Anderson at a BC Lions game via Reuters Canada.

Tagged as: Current Affairs

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FINALLY

Posted on November 27, 2006 at 11:37 AM

Three years after leaving the band Graham Coxon has admitted that he would consider rejoining Blur.

The guitarist quit the band in 2002 during the making of their 'Think Tank' album.

However responding to recent comments Blur bassist Alex James made, suggesting he wanted the band to make one more album as a four-piece, Coxon has now said he would consider a reunion.

"I haven't been approached about it. I think about it: would it be fun?" he told Pitchfork. "Would it be a bit too scary? What would the dynamic be in a studio? Would I have to do promotion? Would I tour? You know, it's a lot of thinking.

"So I guess I still mull around and think about it every now and then."

Tagged as: Music

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You Should Have Seen The Audience, Etc.

Posted on November 27, 2006 at 11:18 AM

Sad songs they say so much.

Elton John left the stage briefly during a weekend concert in Brisbane after being struck by a bout of nausea, according to a news report Monday.

John left the stage without a word about two hours into his Sunday concert. He was gone for about five minutes, the Australian Associated Press reported.

When he returned, the 59-year-old pop star used an Australian colloquialism to explain that he had left the stage to vomit. "I thought I'd better chunder in the toilet (rather) than all over the front row," he was quoted as saying.

Photo: AP.

Tagged as: Music

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Numb-Skull

Posted on November 27, 2006 at 10:27 AM

Sad but true: An Albuquerque woman has been accused of using resources at the national computer lab at which she works in order to hack into telecom files and identify Linkin Park vocalist Chester Bennington's phone number, as well as view his cameraphone photos. There hasn't been such a blatant misuse of resources since Fort Minor was signed to Warner Brothers.

Tagged as: Music

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Retro-Blogging the AMAs

Posted on November 22, 2006 at 12:40 PM

List of "Winners" at the 2006 American Music Awards

Favorite Album: Nickelback's All The Right Reasons, which won for all the wrong reasons.

Favorite Alternative Artist: Red Hot Chili Peppers, who also won in 1993, when the term Alternative was last taken seriously.

Favorite Rap/Hip-Hop Album: Monkey Business by the Black Eyed Peas, giving them some much-needed exposure.

Favorite Rap/Hip-Hop Group: Black Eyed Peas, giving them some much-needed exposure.

Favorite Soul/Rhythm & Blues Group: Black Eyed Peas, giving them some much-needed exposure.

Favorite Country Artist AND Fan-Only Text-In Award: Rascal Flatts, thereby dispelling the myth that country music fans can't text message. They can.

Favorite Male Soul/Rhythm & Blues Artist: Jamie Foxx, who performed a song from his album Unpredictable, a word that perfectly encapsulates the American Music Awards. Did we say unpredictable? We mean predictable. Predictable is the word that perfectly encapsulates the American Music Awards.

See you never at the after party.

Photo: Reuters.

Tagged as: Music

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The Bride Wore Metaphor

Posted on November 21, 2006 at 10:57 AM

$10 MIL A MOVIE FOR YOUR THOUGHTS?

This is the happiest week of my life.
I will be wearing Armani.
So will Tom, and our shortie.
I can't wait to meet the aliens.
I am happy.

I grew up dreaming of marrying Tom Cruise.
I am from Toledo, Ohio.
My career is slowly going downhill.
I am so happy.
I wonder if these windows lock.

Tagged as: Film

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VOTE!

Posted on November 7, 2006 at 01:11 PM

It's time to vote!

It's a big day today - and not just because it's the last day of mean-spirited political attack ads. Today is Votin' Day! So go out and make a difference. Or at least, try to. There may be forces at work against you today... Did you know some Virginia voters were incorrectly told in a recorded telephone call (hear it) that they would be "charged criminally" if they voted, while others were told that their polling location had changed? (read it) Were you aware that, in the 2006 Ohio primaries, new, untested voting sytems (like what we'll be seeing today) caused massive problems, including the fact that in "at least 79 precincts the number of voters who signed the poll books didn't match the number of ballots cast,"? Go here or here for a run-down of all the other terrifying things that went wrong. And that's just Ohio. Try not to learn what happened in Indiana and Florida... no, on second thought, you should read this, too (here).

Should this stop you from voting? No! Let your rage carry you to the polls! All joking aside, no matter what anyone says, your vote counts. So go cast it. Or, if you'd rather, go here to learn the hack that allows you to cast multiple votes on these stupid machines! Hooray for democracy!

Tagged as: Current Affairs

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