Fuse.tv

It's pretty much all over the news world at this point, but if you haven't heard, Tom Cruise was apparently unceremonoiusly dropped by Paramount Pictures for his off-stage 'antics'. The man who owns Paramount had this to say:

"His recent conduct has not been acceptable to Paramount."

"It's nothing to do with his acting ability, he's a terrific actor, but we don't think that someone who effectuates creative suicide and costs the company revenue should be on the lot."

Ouch!

Seeing an opportunity in the headline-grabbing story, the Bush administration has just issued a press release blaming Cruise's off-stage antics for the Iraq conflict, the response to Hurricane Katrina and NBC's "Joey".

Check out Gawker's coverage here.

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An Open Letter to Heather Mills

Posted on August 22, 2006 at 04:01 PM

This week's Globe "newspaper" reports that Paul McCartney sought treatment at the London Clinic after "suffering chest pains", and many people seem to be blaming his divorce proceedings with Heather Mills for the trouble. "Those close to Paul are afraid the stress of the divorce is killing him", says "an insider", according to the Globe. (Who are these insiders anyway?)

I don't usually use the fuseblog to air my personal feelings but I wanted to send this message to Ms. Mills, wherever she may be (spending Paul's money, of course).

Dear Ms. Mills,

I read today in the paper that Sir Paul McCartney--the man you stand to inherit $400 million dollars from, in case you had forgotten--had to get his heart checked out because of all the crap you are putting him through: sending your security guards over the walls of his home, the nudie pics, withdrawing millions from your joint account, etc.

If god forbid even one hair on Paul's head is hurt, never mind his heart, as a result of your shenanigans then I promise I will personally be on the first plane to England to kick your money-hungry, ponytailed, talentless ass.

Have a great summer!

Love,
Ben

And speaking of the Beatles, make sure you check out our favorite video (because I'm in it).

Tagged as: Music

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Sixth Sense, Seventh Beer

Posted on August 18, 2006 at 12:29 PM

It was revealed today that ex-child star Haley Joel Osment, star of "The Sixth Sense" and more importantly TV's "The Jeff Foxworthy Show", was legally intoxicated when he got into his car wreck last month, and apparently was packin' a big ol' bag of weed.

For those of you too busy following stuff that actually matters, Osment broke a rib last month when he smashed his sportscar into a mailbox at a high velocity. Apparently he can see dead people a whole lot better than stationary roadside objects.

The arrest will invitably propel Osment into the kind of ex-child star notoriety previously reserved for Todd Bridges, the Coreys and maybe even Danny Bonaduce--provided Osment can manage to have a tussle with a transvestite hooker sometime in the near future.

Here's what Moviefone had to say, make sure you read the article to yourself in the Moviefone guy's voice.

And here's Haley Joel getting taken down on the soccer field, it has nothing to do with the story but it's fun watching celebs get smushed.

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We Don't Use Condoms Ever

Posted on August 17, 2006 at 11:44 AM

Well, it was only a matter of time before the seamy details emerged in the Travis and Shanna breakup, but we could never have dreamed of it coming from Travis' own grammatically unsound MySpace rant. Here are some choice moments:

"Round 6pm I have dinner wit the babies and my nanny, (SHANNA IS M.I.A. NOTE TO SELF....SHE IS NOT AT WORK..SHE WORKED 6 TIMES IN THE LAST 4 YEARS)."

"I came across condoms (we don't use condoms ever) I was informed by our realitor Shanna was doing Dancing With the Stars (why wouldn't she tell me right? A MySpace account where she posts pix of our children and her and I half naked."

"I love Shanna very much, so I had to leave cause I'm not the type of person to stay in a situation thats unfair and unfit to build a family."

"Sorry for the mis-spelling/type errors."

The only question now is where is this MySpace page with pics of Shanna naked and how can I find it?

Check out Perez Hilton's coverage here.

Since no video footage is available, we suggest you check out this clip of the obsessed cat flushing the toilet.

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