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I've been trying to ignore the Michael Jackson trial, but since the event that has commanded the attention of the world, I feel i must address the matter somewhat. Or rather, let these far flung beacons of journalism do it for me. Behold...

Jackson eviaria a Brasil al demandante (El Universal, Mexico)

Nuevo testimonio complica aun mas a Michael Jackson (El Independiente, Argentina)

L'ex-femme de Jackson contrainte de mentir (24heures, Montreal)

Jackson-Prozess: Familie sollte ausgeflogen werden (Kolnische Rundschau)

Caso Jackson, un piano per mandare gli Arvizo in Brasile? (Kataweb, Italia)

Tagged as: Current Affairs

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Bono Bunks With Bill, Blows Gates(') (Mind)!

Posted on April 26, 2005 at 12:04 PM

Whenever Bono rolls into Seattle, he crashes with Bill Gates. Mr. Hewson retired to Gates Manor following a sold-out show. "I was one of 20,000 screaming fans!" said Gates. We need more, Bill. Which of the three Pride (In The Name Of Love) videos do you prefer? Did you like POP? Would you trust Mr. Macphisto with debt relief?

"We're big believers that more needs to be done in developing countries," Gates said. "Let me tell you, Bono has had a huge impact." That's nice. Where did Larry, Adam and Edge stay? Frasier's?

Tagged as: Music

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Paula Abdul's Got A Rare Disorder!

Posted on April 26, 2005 at 12:02 PM

And other jaw-dropping "news" in this week's Fuse Action News.

Real.

Windows.

Tagged as: Current Affairs

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Diddy Does The Latinas

Posted on April 25, 2005 at 10:57 AM

Pop Quiz: how do you know you've got something hot on your hands? When Sean Puffy Puff Daddy P.Diddy Combs shows up to capitalize on other people's buzz factor, oops, I mean show support! The year's model? The Billboard Latin Music Awards. El Puffo joins Jimmy Smits, Graciela Beltran and many others as presenters at the show, which will also feature performances by Marc Anthony, Paulina Rubio and Juanes. At what event/trend will Puffy next capitalize? That remains to be seen. But until then, please, remember that important mayoral, gubernatorial and special elections are happening in November. IE, Vote Or Die. Here is Mr. Vote Or Die leaving an airplane, 2 Something and 4:

Tagged as: Music

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First The Pope Died, And Now This...

Posted on April 21, 2005 at 11:59 AM

Paris Hilton cuts ties with Nicole Richie, gets wet with the jet set while the world cries...

Tagged as: Current Affairs

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Durst Truth Ever

Posted on April 20, 2005 at 11:21 AM

Apparently, Limp Bizkit have a new record coming out, bearing the unpretentious title The Unquestionable Truth (Part 1). Why the truth? I'm glad you asked:

"I love the truth," Durst wrote last week. "That's what it's all about. The definition of what gospel is. The unquestionable truth. No bells and whistles. No sugar coating the truth. For some it could be a bit too much to comprehend. F*** 'em."

Whoa - I don't think I can comprehend that. F*** me!

Tagged as: Music

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Dreams Really Do Come True

Posted on April 19, 2005 at 11:20 AM

My dreams of Chad Michael Murray and Sophia Bush marrying each other have come true.

Tagged as: Television

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This Week: Mariah Carey and Satan!

Posted on April 19, 2005 at 11:14 AM

Watch this week's Fuse Action News Flash.

Real.

Windows.

More.

Once again, an Apology In Advance to mac users.

Tagged as: Music

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"Claaay, Claaay... I Want You To Kick Those Boys In The Balls..."

Posted on April 18, 2005 at 12:21 PM

Clay Aiken will appear on tomorrow's Dr. Phil show to discuss the endless torment he suffered at the hands of bullies during his junior high days in nowhere-near-Mayberry, North Carolina. I can't understand why he was picked on.

Tagged as: Music

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Wanna Go To Coachella For Free?

Posted on April 15, 2005 at 01:02 PM

Not only that, but how about free camping gear? A reserved campsite? VIP status? Passes to the after party? This is Coachella. The best festival on the planet (sorry, Glastonbury).

Then enter this contest on Fuse. Cutoff date is April 25th.

The deets:

Round-trip coach air transportation for winner and his/her guest to Long Beach, California from one of the following departure cities: New York, Boston, Ft. Lauderdale, Oakland, Las Vegas, Salt Lake City or Washington, DC departing April 30, 2005 and returning May 2, 2005,
Two VIP passes for the Coachella Music Festival taking place April 30, 2005 and May 1, 2005
Two passes to the Coachella After Party being held on April 30, 2005
The cost for one camping site at a nearby campground selected by Sponsors for the evening of April 30, 2005
One tent and two sleeping bags
One night hotel accommodations for winner and his/her guest at a nearby hotel selected by Sponsors (Double occupancy) for the evening of May 1, 2005
All ground transportation for winner and his/her guest to/from the airport, music festival, After Party, campground and hotel
One Gemini DJ mixer package consisting of: one Gemini model ICDJ tabletop CD player and one Gemini mixer
One-year subscription to Urb Magazine.

It's cool. Enter now. I would if I were eligible. Darn employee status.

Tagged as: Music

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New Albums From Your "Favorite" Artists

Posted on April 14, 2005 at 12:02 PM

There is nothing like the anticipation of buying a newly released album from a big name artist. (There is also nothing like the disappointment of hearing a newly released album from a big name artist.) With that in mind, let's play a game. Match the artist with the name of their soon-to-be-released record:

1. Black Eyed Peas
2. Backstreet Boys
3. Audioslave
4. Old Dirty Bastard

A. Out Of Exile
B. Monkey Business
C. A Son Unique
D. Never Gone

Answers below this funny photo of people browsing in a record store. Notice the doofus on a Segway.

Did you get it? Have you figured it out yet? Here are the answers:

Black Eyed Peas - Monkey Business (Or, Let's Keep It Going)
Backstreet Boys - Never Gone (Or, Seriously, Even Though Everyone Forgot about Us, We Were Never Gone)
Audioslave - Out Of Exile (Or, If By Exile You Mean The Greatness That Was Rage And Soundgarden)
Old Dirty Bastard - A Son Unique (A Son Unique says it all, actually)

Photo at top of Broken Social Scene performing at Other Music in New York, 2003, via this.

Tagged as: Music

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I Sense A Pattern...

Posted on April 13, 2005 at 11:15 AM

BBC News, April 13, 2005:

BBC News, June 27, 2002:

Tagged as: Music

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What Do The Israelis And Gay Vampires Have In Common?

Posted on April 11, 2005 at 06:06 PM

Watch this week's Fuse Action News Flash and find out.

Real.

Windows.

An Apology In Advance to mac users. I feel your pain. I'm one of you.

Tagged as: Current Affairs

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Mimimimimimimimimi

Posted on April 11, 2005 at 10:46 AM

Billboard calls Mariah Carey's The Emancipation Of Mimi her most satisfying record since Butterfly. Satisfying for whom, Billboard? Satisfying for whom...

Tagged as: Music

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Rolling Stone: Out Of Ideas

Posted on April 8, 2005 at 10:52 AM

Rolling Stone's second Top 500 songs Of All Time issue in a year is the best or second best Top 500 Songs issue they've done in the past year.

Tagged as: Music

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Can't Really Argue With That

Posted on April 8, 2005 at 10:44 AM

From the Oven Fresh comment boards over on fuse.tv:

Artist: Relient K
Song: Be My Escape
From: Elena from Long Island
Date: 4/8/05
Comment: you know a christian band is great when a jew like myself loves them.

Tagged as: Music

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Our Concert Could Be Your War

Posted on April 7, 2005 at 12:55 PM

On May 8, London's Trafalgar Square will host a concert celebrating the 60th anniversary of V-E Day, on which the Germans surrendered and the Allies could claim victory. On that day in 1945, thousands of jubilant, war-weary Londoners thronged Trafalgar Square, celebrating victory and toasting their own fighting spirit. This summer will also see the sixth anniversary of Woodstock 99, which celebrated the 30th anniversary of the U.S.'s secret firebombing of Cambodia. Sadly, Limp Bizkit was not lost in the carnage.

Tagged as: Music

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All They Hear Is Papal GaGa

Posted on April 6, 2005 at 12:27 PM

First the Pope died, and now this. Let's say you're a washed up rock band that has no business touring without its pivotal, late leader. And now let's say that you have a concert scheduled in Rome two days after the Pope has passed away. What would you do? You'd postpone the show, right? Not if you're Paul Rodgers and Free, I mean Queen! Despite the recommendations of a governement-appointed official in charge of the papal funeral arrangements, not to mention the stupendously bad taste involved, Queen went ahead and played the show. Queen notes that they held a moment's silence at the start of the show. I bet it was touching. "We'll miss the Pope. Here's a song from Jazz called Fat Bottomed Girls!"

You know, I don't think even Bright Eyes would have played a show in Rome two days after the Pope died.

Tagged as: Music

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What A Country!

Posted on April 5, 2005 at 12:07 PM

To all of you anti-American frowny franks who say that a boyband member could never rise to power in this country, I have two words for you: 98 f***in' Degrees. Sadly, it's not Nick Lachey we're talking about, but Justin Jeffre. Still, that ain't so bad. The blond Degree with the heavenly voice says his campaign is fueled by hometown pride and a desire to improve the city via its arts and entertainment venues and districts. That's him on the right.

Fuseblog hopes:

A statue of Bootsy Collins will be built in Fountain Square
Legislation will pass forcing Reds owner Carl Lindner to increase the payroll by 50%
Traffic congestion is relieved along Colerain Ave at I-275
Free Skyline Chili for all former residents that run blogs for music TV networks

Justin has a shot at this. Cincinnati mayoral candidates run in a non-partisan run-off; the top two then run head to head. "Normal" people have a decent chance. And not that he's normal, but Jerry Springer was the mayor of Cincinnati before he went down the dark road towards silicone implants and incest investigations.

Fuseblog officially endorses Justin Jeffre for Mayor of Cincinnati, and, for no reason in particular, the new Twisterz from Cheeze-It.

Tagged as: Music

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If you have $495,00 A Year...

Posted on April 4, 2005 at 01:41 PM

...you can rent the space at 315 Bowery, New York, NY. IE, CBGB. IE, it looks like they're outta there. That's the word from official commercial real estate wires this morning.

UPDATE: I think CBs may be headed here:

CB Richard Ellis, Inc. is proud to announce that we have been selected to manage the leasing of EAST VILLAGE - Las Vegas' $200 million dollar premier entertainment, retail and restaurant district, which is expected to open in early 2007.

EAST VILLAGE will become the hub for locals, tourists and UNLV Students and will consist of approximately 960,000 SF of retail shops, restaurants, entertainment and office space, all within a vibrant neighborhood design with plenty of urban vibe.

Tagged as: Music

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Call Of The Wild

Posted on April 4, 2005 at 12:11 PM

MJ called up his weirdo supporters yesterday. It was like a party line! He is very grateful for their support. He told them:

"I'm glad you came." (You losers are all I've got.)
"You understand I can't be there today." (I gave my nose the afternoon off.)
"I'm looking forward to being with you very soon." (By being with you, I mean staying at my secluded ranch and spending your money at Hermes in Vegas.)
"I have the most wonderful fans in the world." (Since they couldn't make it, I'm calling you guys.)
"We will be victorious." (It's mistrial or San Quentin for me.)
"Keep on dancing." (Keep on dancing.)

Tagged as: Music

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